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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Too Short to Ride". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Mr. Greg" Next: "The New Lars"
Speaker Dialogue
[The episode begins in the temple house with Steven presenting a gift for Peridot.]
Steven Special delivery!
Peridot Oh. Wow. Thanks.
(Peridot rips up the wrappings of the present.)
Peridot It's a... a rectangle.
(Steven puts the flower bud from the wrapping on the side spike of Peridot's hair.)
Steven And a tablet!
(Steven turns on the tablet for Peridot, who looks with interest.)
Steven My dad bought it, but he decided he didn't need it. He said something about oversaturation of media being a plague to one's mind, so I thought you might like it. Here.
(Peridot is awe-struck with the tablet as Steven demonstrates what it does.)
Steven You can use your fingers to work it.
Peridot Like my old finger screens!
(Peridot is scrolling through the content apps on the tablet.)
Steven But now you have the whole worldwide web to hang out on.
Peridot Worldwide? Ha! I had the ability to search and retrieve data from across multiple star systems.
Steven Hmm, impressive. But I can do you one better. TubeTube.
(Steven touches the TubeTube app icon and is directed to a cat video. Peridot questions the video with the cat yowling and why it was documented.)
Peridot Why was this documented?
Steven You can log your thoughts on the internet, too. You just have to keep it under 140 characters.
(Peridot is awe-struck once more.)
Peridot That's so many people!
(Peridot continues to watch the video that is emitting clattering sounds and cat yowls.)
Steven I can make you an account so you can start logging as soon as you want.
(Peridot chuckles in anticipation.)
Peridot [Chuckles] I really, really like this, but it's a shame it doesn't come attached to your body. [Gasps] Oh wait!
(Peridot runs to the storage inside the stairs and looks through it.)
Steven I'm gonna leave the profile stuff blank for you to fill in later. There.
(Peridot snatches the tablet out of Steven's hands.)
Peridot Gimme!
(Peridot puts tape on the back of the tablet.)
Peridot [Laughs] Behold! My innovation!
(Slow motion scene with Peridot showcasing her innovation.)
Peridot CHA-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. Haaaaa!
(puts tablet on tape and does various poses)
Peridot Shing! Shing! Gwaaaaaaa! SHING, SHING! ... I've harnessed the power of your interlocking fabric strips.
Steven [Chuckles] Good thing I grew out of those shoes.
Peridot [Sigh] To have tech again. It feels good when everything is at your fingertips.
(Amethyst walks into the room.)
Amethyst Yo. You guys look like you're having fun.
Peridot Oh, Amethyst. (Shows innovation.) What do you think?
Amethyst You look like a square.
Peridot It's a rectangle.
Amethyst Heh, truth. Anyway, you two ready to go or what?
Peridot Go?
Steven Yeah. Amethyst and I were gonna go out, and we wanted you to come, too.
Peridot Hang out? Oh, yeah. That's a friend thing to do. So, where are we hanging out, friends?
[Transition scene to "Beach City Funland".]
Steven Ta-da! Welcome to Funland!
Peridot You brought me to a sign!
Amethyst Nah, nah. You got to go inside.
(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot watch a roller coaster ride by with people screaming.)
Peridot [Chuckles] A speed pattern transportation circuit.
Steven And a roller coaster.
Amethyst You've got to do the most fun thing in Funland first.
Peridot Hmm. Bold. Let's follow this logic!
(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot run to The Appalachian ride as a bell dings in the background.)
Steven Three, please.
Harold Sure. We got some new rules, first.
(The trio gets their height measured to see if they are eligible to ride the Appalachian.)
Steven Uh...
Amethyst Uck.
Peridot [Smiles widely.]
(Harold questions Peridot's real height from her hair, so he pushes it down to see her real height, which aggravated Peridot.)
Peridot [Grunts from Harold's touch and throws a tantrum, flailing her arms in the air and growling.]
Harold Ha-ha! Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.
Peridot I do not have to grow. This height is indicative of my rarity and importance. I demand entry, you CLOD!
Harold [Clears throat] You kids want another lifetime ban?
Steven No thanks, Mr. Smiley.
Amethyst Shorty Squad out.
(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot leave the area with the Appalachian.)
Amethyst (picking her nose) Well, that stinks.
Steven [Sigh] We'll just have to maintain a healthy lifestyle in hopes we grow before the end of the season.
Amethyst (slaps forehead) Ugh. Of course. Let's just grow.
(Amethyst grows via shape-shifting.)
Steven [Gasps] Shape-shifting!
(Steven shape-shifts his legs to grow longer. Peridot attempts transformation.)
Peridot Hmm. [Grunting and sweating]
Steven Uh, Peridot?
Peridot [Stops grunting and breathes heavily.] Uh, I... I must be a little rusty. Why don't you two just go?
Steven Aw, what?
Peridot What?
Amethyst You sure?
Peridot Sure I'm sure. I can just look up what a roller coaster feels like. Just hurry up and go so you can hurry up and come back.
Amethyst Oh, okay.
(Steven and Amethyst pass the measurement test and are eligible to ride the Appalachian. They had a lot of fun as Peridot watched from below.)
Amethyst So good!
Steven What next? What next?
Peridot Yes! What next that doesn't have a height restriction?
Amethyst Uh, there!
(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot arrive at the House of Mirrors. Amethyst is messing around with the mirrors already.)
Amethyst Ooh. [Giggles]
(Steven and Amethyst laugh at their own reflections from shape-shifting. Peridot is the exception. They exit the House of Mirrors for another area to travel to.)
Amethyst Ha, this place is fun.
Steven Yeah! It totally does live up to its name!
(Peridot Googles "am I having fun?" which pops up the definition widget for "fun.")
Peridot [Sighs]
Amethyst Let's see who can eat the most chili dogs before we go on the Tilt-a-Whirl.
(Peridot stops at "RING SOME LOSE SOME" attentive to the alien figures one can win.)
Peridot [Gasps] Steven, Amethyst! Look at this being! Its large head, swollen with thoughts! Those compassionate eyes. It understands. I need it. NOW!
Steven Peridot, that's a prize. You have to win it first.
(Steven rings the bell which calls Harold to the stand.)
Harold (Runs to the stand) [Breathes heavily] [Grunts when climbing the table into the stand.] Hey there, Steven.
Steven Mr. Smiley, you're working the ring toss, too?
Harold Yeah. You can say we're a little "fun-derstaffed."
Steven [Chuckles] I get it.
Harold I'm glad you seeing the humor in it, Steven, because I haven't seen a bed in six days!
Steven Oh. [Chuckles nervously.]
(Peridot grabs a ring and throws it at the bottles, but misses and hits something else.)
Peridot I win!
Steven Um, well...
Amethyst You have to land the rings first, broski! Shorty Squad throw!
(The trio throw rings at the bottles to get one to score, to no avail, and to Harold's growing boredom.)
Amethyst Okay, last chance. We got this.
(The trio throw each ring in unison, which all miss to Harold's pleasure from the trio's displeasure.)
Amethyst This biz is rigged!
Peridot I didn't save Earth for this.
Steven Sorry, Peridot.
Amethyst Hmm. No. We're gonna get you that prize. Hey, Mr. Smiley. Is that Onion trying to light the roller coaster on fire?
Harold I'm not falling for that one again. Oh!
(Screams are heard in the distance which grabs Harold's attention. The camera zooms to Onion who is holding two cotton candy cones on fire next to the Appalachian.)
Harold No! I'm still paying off the last lawsuit!
Amethyst Heh, good old Onion.
(Amethyst extends her arm to drop the ring on the bottlenecks successfully.)
Harold All this running around. I'm not even in a union.
Amethyst Yo, Mr. S. While you were gone, Peri got a ring.
Peridot I did?
Amethyst [Whispers] We're lying.
Peridot [Sweating.] Oh, uh, yes, I did land the ring. I also do not steal Steven's clothes when he's not looking.
Steven What?
Harold Huh. Would you look at that? And I thought this thing was rigged. Here you go, kid.
(Peridot opens her arms for a big alien figure, but Harold gives her an alien figure the size of her index finger. She slowly opens her eyes and looks at the tiny alien, still smiling.)
Harold It's a little sister. [Laughs]
Peridot Um, excuse me, but you're wrong. I'm supposed to win that one.
Harold You mean the big guy? Sorry. That one's 10 rings.
(Peridot is upset from this explanation. She continues to wear it, however, as it is seen worn when Peridot tries to click away from a "find roommates" ad on her tablet. Amethyst is eating a triple corndog stick combo in the meantime.)
Advertisement on the Tablet Find cute roommates in your area.
Peridot I'm all set, thanks.
Steven That toy you won is really cool, Peridot.
Peridot You mean that Amethyst won with shape-shifting. Maybe they should call it shape-shift land because it's a land where you go to shape-shift.
Amethyst What's wrong with shape-shifting, bro?
Peridot You mean besides being an insult to your intended form?
Amethyst ... Okay, what's really wrong with it?
Peridot I can't do it... at all.
Steven Well, we can help you try.
Peridot What?
Steven I didn't ever think I could use my powers, either, but then the Gems helped me out. We can help you, too.
Amethyst Yeah, man. [Munches the rest of the corndogs.] Mmm! We'll give you the shape-shifting lowdown.
(Amethyst gives Peridot a noogie.)
Amethyst Shorty Squad style.
[Transition scene to the beach.]
(Steven and Amethyst perform various shape-shifting preparations before undergoing transformation. The first one is extending their tongue to their elbow. The second one is Amethyst turning into a cat and Steven making a cat finger which quickly startles Steven. Meanwhile, Peridot uses her tablet to send "cheeps," chuckling in the process. The third is Amethyst turning into a ball and Steven extending his arms to catch Amethyst. Steven throws Amethyst onto the ground to make them bounce at Peridot. Peridot fails to catch Amethyst and gets a direct hit in the face which leaves her laying on the ground face first.)
Amethyst Uh, okay. Maybe we just have to activate it manually. You grab her feet. I'll grab the arms.
Steven Okay.
Amethyst Ready? Pull.
(Steven and Amethyst grunt in unison. Peridot is in pain from the pulling.)
Peridot Ow.
Steven Is it working?
Peridot Ow.
Amethyst I think so. Pull harder!
Peridot Ow.
Steven I think I just heard a crack
Peridot Ow.
Amethyst That's her powers opening, Steven.
Peridot Ow, ow, ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Drop me now! [Grunts from hitting the ground.] This isn't going to work.
Steven Maybe if we keep trying...
Peridot No.
(Peridot walks to the shore of the beach.)
Peridot My lack of skill is an objective fact. I'm an Era-2 Peridot. I am new. Resources are dwindling on Homeworld. They can't make Gems like they used to. That's why they give Era-2 Peridots technological enhancements because we... don't have powers.
Amethyst Per, I'mma be really real with you for a sec. This whole time we've been here, you've just been focusing on what you can't do. Of course you're not having any fun. You think that all you are is who you could be, but we don't hang out with you because of who you could be. We like you.
(Peridot ignores Amethyst and continues using her tablet.)
Amethyst I know you just heard me.
(Peridot continues the act. Showing frustration, she types fourteen "CLODS" to cheep.)
Amethyst Stop playing with that thing. Ugh. Gimme that!
Peridot NO!
Amethyst You don't need it!
Peridot You don't know that!
Amethyst Yes... I... Do!
Peridot Wait! Wait-wait-wait-wai-w-w-w-wait!
(Amethyst throws the tablet to the ocean.)
Peridot NO! IT'S ALL THAT I AM!
(Peridot pauses for a second, then notices she is conducting the tablet in mid-air.)
Steven Peridot. Metal powers!
Amethyst ... Dude.
Peridot [Giggles]
(Peridot gestures the tablet to come back to her as Steven talks about the possible scenarios for Peridot's "metal powers.")
Steven Do you know what this means? You can open really tight jars. You can remove staples without a staple remover. You can open doors without having to touch them after you wash your hands.
Peridot No! I know exactly what I can do.
[Transition scene to the "RING SOME LOSE SOME" game in Funland.]
(Peridot with a cat mouth uses her powers while Harold is sleeping to levitate and drop the ten rings onto the bottlenecks and win the "big alien.")
Peridot 10! That's 10!
Harold Wah! That's 10, alright! Well, I guess you won fair and square, or fair and triangle. [Laughs] Because your head looks like a triangle. Here you go, kid.
(Peridot and the big alien slide to each other. Peridot, with open arms, hugs the rewarded toy for a job well done.)
Steven Hehe, You did it, Peridot.
Amethyst Give it up for Pea-Pod!
(three blackout stars zoom in on the trio.)
Peridot No, give it up for the Shorty Squad.
[The episode ends.]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' Head
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time