| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| [The episode begins with a black screen.]
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| Steven
|
For your consideration...
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| (Steven begins a slideshow of two animals, the first being a koala.)
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| Steven
|
The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America. Who should be crowned the king of the "hanging around, doing nothing" mammals?
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| [Transition to the int. of the Big Donut.]
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| Sadie
|
I think sloths eat poop.
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| Lars
|
Gross.
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| Steven
|
Well, that's definitely going to affect the rankings.
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| Lars
|
Eating poop would be better than this.
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| Sadie
|
[snickers] Just, let him do his thing.
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| Lars
|
So glad I don't have to deal with this tomorrow.
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| Sadie
|
Oh, yeah, they're closing shop to get those gulls out of the vents. Any plans?
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| Lars
|
Nah.
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| Sadie
|
Would you... want to come by my place? I know it's kind of been awhile, but we could get some food, watch some movies.
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| Lars
|
Nah. Sounds boring. I'll see if Buck wants to do stuff.
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| Sadie
|
Well, I hope you guys have fun together.
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| Lars
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Yeah. We will.
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| [Sadie and Lars notice Steven's presence.]
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| Sadie
|
Hey, Steven? You're staring a little bit.
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| Steven
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[in a soft voice while staring intently] No, I'm not.
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| (Lars and Steven leave the Big Donut. Lars starts locking the door.)
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| Steven
|
Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
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| Lars
|
[grunts] I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
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| Steven
|
But aren't you going to get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
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| Lars
|
Oh, let me think... No. Me and Sadie aren't getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
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| Steven
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You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
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| (Lars walks away from Steven.)
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| Lars
|
You don't know what you're talking about, so butt out!
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| Lars
|
Go annoy someone else. [in a lower voice] You little weirdo.
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| Steven
|
Why can't you just admit you love her?!
|
| [Night, int. of the Beach House]
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| (Steven is asleep but is restless.)
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| Steven
|
[grunts] Lars.
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| (Steven enters Lars' mind and sees Lars)
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| Steven
|
Lars? You don't need to be such a jerk all the time. I wish I could just show you.
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| (Lars and Steven collide)
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| Steven
|
Aah!
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| [Morning, int. of Lars' room]
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| (Steven suddenly wakes up in the body of Lars with a Minor Objects/Media#NOICE"Noice" magazine on his face.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Aah! Huh? [takes magazine off face]
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Wha? Whoa. Wait a minute.
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| (Steven looks around Lars' room.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
This isn't the temple. This isn't my voice. Whoa -- I'm Lars?
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| (Steven as Lars notices that he is naked)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Ooh! [whimpering and covering his eyes] I'm naked! I must've jumped into Lars' mind. I guess while I'm in here, I'd better do my best to respect Lars' body and his privacy.
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| (Lars (Steven) walks down the staircase of Lars' house into the kitchen.)
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| Martha
|
[in a quiet voice holding papers] No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Hi, there.
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| (Dante and Martha, Lars' parents, notice Lars.)
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| Dante
|
Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
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| (Lars (Steven) sits down at the table)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Uh... taller?
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| (Martha places Lars' breakfast down in front of him.)
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| Martha
|
Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie. (holds Lars' (Steven's) face)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Who's Laramie?
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| Martha
|
I mean... Lars.
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| (Martha sits down next to Dante at the table.)
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| Dante
|
Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this.
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| (Dante shows Lars (Steven), his grade report.)
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| (Lars (Steven) reads the report, not knowing what grades are.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
"F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F." That doesn't spell anything.
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| Martha
|
Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is...
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| Dante and Martha
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A little effort!
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| Lars (Steven)
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[becomes teary-eyed] Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down.
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| (Steven grabs Martha and Dante's hands.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son.
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| (Martha and Dante sit shocked, as Lars (Steven) gets up and leaves.)
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| Dante
|
Wow. He didn't even swear.
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| Martha
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And he's wearing the plugs I got him.
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| [Outside in Beach City]
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| Lars (Steven)
|
I'm Lars. [chuckles] I'm Lars, I'm Lars, I'm Lars!
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| (Steven notices Onion, who looks creeped out.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Hey, Onion? Look, I'm Lars.
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| (Onion, who is still creeped out, gives a thumbs up.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
I'm Lars for the day. Hey, it's Buck Dewey and Sour Cream. Hi, guys! Whatcha doing? Hanging out?
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| (Buck and Sour Cream look at each other briefly.)
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| Buck
|
Yeah.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
That's cool. Would you say you hang out more like Koalas or Sloths? I'm asking for Steven.
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| Buck
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I like that kid.
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| (Sour Cream nods his head in approval.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Yeah, he's the best. [Chuckles]
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| Buck
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Tell Steven we're more like sleeping tigers.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Okay. Then I'll be a panther. [Growls]
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| (Buck chuckles and Jenny comes out from the pizzeria.)
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| Jenny
|
Oh. Hey, Lars.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Hi, Jenny.
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| Jenny
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Ugh. Dad made me work this morning. Now I stink like pizza and fish.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
You don't stink.
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| Jenny
|
Lars? What a nice thing to say.
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| Lars (Steven)
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I can say way nicer stuff. Like you're really cool and pretty and fun to be around.
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| Jenny
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[Laughs] Lars, this is so unlike you.
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| Buck
|
I see what's going on here.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Huh?
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| Buck
|
This isn't the Lars we know. Maybe Lars is actually... A good guy who likes making people feel good.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Yep. You got me.
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| Buck
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That's the kind of vibe I want on our dance crew.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Gasps) Lars is going to be psyched!
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| Buck
|
Buck is pleased.
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| Jenny
|
Can he dance, though?
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Can I?
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| (Lars jumps to a clearing and starts dancing and humming.)
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| Jenny
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Whoa! Lars got moves!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Whoo.
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| Buck
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We going to a dance competition, and we need you. Come with us.
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| Lars (Steven)
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(Gasps for a few seconds then realizes something) Oh. Sorry. I can't. There's someone who needs me more.
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| [Transition to outside Sadie's house.]
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| (Lars (Steven) goes towards Sadie's home, knocks on her front door and clicks the doorbell.)
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| (Doorbell Buzzes.)
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| Sadie
|
Okay, okay, geez. Hold your horses.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Still want to hang out?
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| Sadie
|
Well, if it ain't the human boomerang -- always coming back to me.
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| (Lars (Steven) looks behind him then stares back with puppy eyes.)
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| Sadie
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Look, sorry. I was going to watch a movie if -- If you wanna? I don't -- I don't know. [laughs] N-Nothing fancy.
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| Lars (Steven)
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I don't need anything fancy.
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| Sadie
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[Laughs] Just get in here. Are those hearts in your ears?
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| [Transition to Sadie's bedroom]
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| Sadie
|
There's a bunch of stuff down there you probably haven't seen yet. Take your pick.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Goes to shelf with movies and starts naming) "Night Terrors," "Enjoy the Violence," "Critter Crematorium," "The Organ Pickler, Part 7"?!
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| Sadie
|
I keep telling you, that's the good one.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
How about this? "Fangs of Love."
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| Sadie
|
I think I'd rather have my organs pickled.
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| (Lars (Steven) and Sadie watch the "Fangs of Love.")
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| Male Werewolf (T.V)
|
And you love me? Even like this?
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| Female Werewolf (T.V)
|
I Dooooooooo!
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| (The movie ends with the werewolves howling.)
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| Sadie
|
[laughs] Didn't I try to warn you?
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| Lars (Steven)
|
[cries] They just wanted... to be together. [Sobbing]
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| Sadie
|
Hey? [Grabs tissue box.] What is with you tonight, huh?
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Sniffling. Sadie hands Lars (Steven) a tissue) What do you mean? (Lars (Steven) blows his nose, and continues sniffling.)
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| Sadie
|
Look, It's like yesterday I asked if you wanted to come over, but you made a big deal, saying no in front of Steven, and now you're here? [Sadie looks confused] It's just, it's getting to be kind of a roller coaster, isn't it?
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| Lars (Steven)
|
[Mood suddenly changes] Roller coasters are fun.
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| Sadie
|
[Sighs] It's like you're one way in private and a different way in public. You act like I don't know you don't want to be seen with me, but I do know. I'm not stupid.
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Don't be sad.
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| (Lars (Steven) puts his hand on Sadie's shoulder but she slides it away.)
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| Sadie
|
It's just, I need to know. How do you really feel about me?
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| (Lars (Steven) makes an honest grin.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Isn't it obvious?
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| (Sadie looks back at Lars (Steven), creeped out.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
I love you!
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| (Sadie reacts quickly and jumps of her bed, with a yell.)
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| Sadie
|
UGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Finally telling you.
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| Sadie
|
NUH! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! All right, I get it. I see how it is. Some cute little heart gauges, some dumb, fluffy movie, that's enough for Sadie. Right, Lars?
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Uh, D-- I-I-I just wanted to fix everything.
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| Sadie
|
GET OUT!
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| [Outside Sadie's house.]
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Sadie pushes Lars out of her house) Stop, you're hurting me!
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| Sadie
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GOOD!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
You don't understand!
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| Sadie
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(Talking through the door) I understand enough! You're only my friend when it's convenient for you. (Banging the door) Just get out of my life!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
[Gasps] I'M NOT LARS!
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| Sadie
|
What?!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
I'm....Steven. I just woke up this morning with my mind in Lars' body. (Runs towards Sadie's door) Ugh! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this. I'm sorry.
|
| (Sadie opens the door calmly.)
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| Sadie
|
Okay. Maybe you are Steven. Lars would never apologize to me. Wait. So does this mean Lars' mind is inside your body?
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| Lars (Steven)
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I don't know.
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| Sadie
|
You don't know?!
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Slowly speaks) Maybe we should check?
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| Sadie
|
Ya think?!
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| [Transition to near a neighborhood]
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| (The cool kids walk with Sour Cream holding a silver trophy.)
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| Jenny
|
At least we got second place.
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| (Sadie and Lars run towards the Temple, panting.)
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| Jenny
|
Hey, look, it's Lars and Doughnut Girl.
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| [Transition to a siding of the Storage house.]
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| (Martha and Dante are eating Ice creams.)
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| Martha
|
It seems like Lars is really turning a corner.
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| Dante
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(Notices Lars running behind Martha) Oh, speak of the Devil. Where's he going? (He and Martha notice Sadie) Who's that girl?
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| Martha
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(Turns towards Dante) Let's follow him and find out.
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| Dante
|
[Chuckles] Oh, Martha!
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| (The Cool Kids and Lars' parents follow Lars and Sadie.)
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| [Outside the Temple House.]
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| Lars (Steven)
|
(Grunts while trying to open the door) It's locked. (Lars (Steven) tries to break the door down, but fails and falls backwards.)
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| Sadie
|
HYAH! (Sadie kicks the door open, breaking it in the progress.)
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| Jenny
|
Why are they breaking into Steven's house?
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| (Lars' parents look at the scene in horror.)
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| Martha
|
Our Lars -- A burglar.
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| Dante
|
(Hugs Martha with one arm.) Now, now, you know we've been ready for this day.
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| [Inside the Temple House]
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| (Lars (Steven) and Sadie run towards Steven, lying on his bed.)
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| (Both Lars (Steven) and Sadie pant.)
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| Sadie
|
(Standing besides Steven's body) There you are. How do you switch back?
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| [Transition to Buck and the other witnesses who enter Steven's home.]
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| Buck
|
This looks weird, but don't jump to conclusions.
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| (All of them shout in horror, noticing Lars (Steven) slapping Steven while he's sleeping.)
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| Lars (Steven)
|
Come on, wake up!
|
| (Lars (Steven) tries his best to wake Steven up by slapping him hard.)
|
| (Everything started distorting as Lars (Steven) finally returns to his Body)
|
| (Steven finally wakes up.)
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| Steven
|
(Wakes up groaning) Ahh!
|
| (Steven looks around and notices Lars drooling as he returns to his mind.)
|
| (Lars' eyes suddenly rotate back as he falls towards a side of the bed.)
|
| Lars
|
Guhhh...
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| Sadie
|
(Sadie grabs Lars before he could fall) Oh.
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| Dante
|
(Gasps heavily) What's going on?
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| Lars
|
(Lars wakes up) Mhn. Huh? (He notices Sadie) Sadie?
|
| (Lars gasped and suddenly tripped.)
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| Lars
|
How did I get here? (He looks at everyone else) What are you all doing here?
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| Sadie
|
Lars, don't get mad.
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| Lars
|
(Lars turns towards Sadie) HUH?!
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| Sadie
|
(Sadie tries to explain Lars about the issue, but he interrupts) But Steven really didn't mean to...
|
| Lars
|
(In fury, turns towards Steven) YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO?!
|
| (The Cool Kids come in between Lars.)
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| Steven
|
(Afraid, he tells the truth) I spent the day with my mind in your body.
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| Lars
|
(Lars gasps in disgust) UHN! AHH!
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| Jenny
|
Whoa. Where's your chill?
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| Buck
|
Buck is no longer pleased.
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| Martha
|
I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
|
| Lars
|
I was acting weird all day and you all just LIKED IT?!
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| Dante
|
Please don't make a scene, Laramie.
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| Lars
|
MHN! [Inhales deeply] DAAH!
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| [Transition to the Big Donut]
|
| (Steven looks through the front window, concerned. He enters the shop.)
|
| Steven
|
Hey, Lars?
|
| (Lars lays face first on the counter with his arms over the edge.)
|
| (Steven takes out a card.)
|
| Steven
|
Um... I'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I got you a card, it's got a Koala and a Sloth.
|
| (Lars takes the card and tears it in half, not looking up.)
|
| Steven
|
(Steven looks at Lars, depressed) I hope I didn't ruin your friendship with Sadie.
|
| Lars
|
With Sadie? Oh, what did you say to her?
|
| Steven
|
I said you loved her.
|
| (Lars falls over and quickly pokes his head above the counter.)
|
| Lars (excitedly)
|
A-and what did she say?
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| Steven
|
She thought you'd only say something like that to hurt her.
|
| Lars
|
Yeah. I guess she's right. Maybe that's why everyone liked the You me better than the Real me.
|
| Steven
|
Not everyone.
|
| (The doorbell rings and Sadie enters.)
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| Sadie
|
Uh, hey.
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| Lars
|
Hey! (Lars runs to Sadie.)
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| Sadie
|
Weird day yesterday, huh? (Slight chuckle.)
|
| Lars
|
Ugh. Everyday in Beach City is weird. That's why I hate it here.
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| Sadie
|
(Sadie gives a smile) It's good to see the real you.
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| Lars
|
Yeah? Uh, uh, you should come over later, you know, bring a movie to watch or something.
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| Sadie
|
[Laughs] Okay.
|
| [Cut to Steven]
|
| Lars
|
Awesome.
|
| (Star iris closes on Steven, smiling.)
|
| [Episode ends]
|
