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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Steven the Sword Fighter". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Onion Trade" Next: "Lion 2: The Movie"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Steven's Room]
(It is raining, Lion is lying outside under the porch, yawning.)
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
(Steven and the Crystal Gems are sitting on the floor, eating popcorn while watching Lonely Blade IV. On screen, two characters confront each other.)
Lonely Blade *on TV, speaking Japanese* It was you! You were the one who killed my brother. Cursing me to fight alone forever!
Steven *to TV* Oh Lonely Blade, you so lonely.
Samurai President *on TV, speaking Japanese* You think you can defeat me? The President of the Shadow Samurai Government?!
Steven *sitting on top of Garnet's hair* What?! The janitor is the evil samurai president?! That's bananas!
Pearl Oh come on, it was so obvious. He's been mopping in the background of every fight scene. *shows Steven the movie cover* Look, here he is on the cover of the box.
Steven Oh yeah.
Lonely Blade *on TV* For my honor and for my brother! I will strike you down! Boomerang Blade! *throws swords*
Samurai President *jumps up* Piercing Shadow of a Thousand... Screams!
Steven *chants* Go, Lonely, go! Do the Boomerang Blade again!
Pearl Oh come on, this is ridiculous. Just look at their form, this is nothing like real sword fighting. (Garnet shushes her.)
Steven *laughs* *grabs a handful of popcorn* It's just a movie, Pearl.
Pearl Well, if you ever want to see a demonstration of proper sword techniques, I'd be happy to show you. (Steven puts his hand on Pearl's head, staring excitedly.) Now?
[Trans. Pearl's Arena]
(Pearl and the others move to a large open area with tiled ground and marble obelisks lining both sides of the area, all of which, is surrounded by low hanging clouds.)
Pearl *holding two swords* Alright, in order to give a proper demonstration I'm going to need a sparring partner. (Steven begins to raise his hand and Garnet immediately lowers it.) Luckily, I have the perfect candidate right here. *summons Holo-Pearl*
Steven Cooool! Hologram Pearl!
Amethyst *lying on a cloud* Ah, geez.
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to engage in combat?
Pearl Let this be the perfect battle. *tosses sword*
Holo-Pearl *catches sword* You've already made a mistake by challenging me! *poses*
Pearl *laughs* We shall let our swords decide.
Amethyst Nerd! *both Steven and Garnet shush her*
Holo-Pearl Commencing duel. *eyes redden, lunges towards Pearl*
(Pearl blocks several of the hologram's attacks.)
Holo-Pearl Defense rank S. Zero openings detected.
Steven *cheers* Go, Pearl, go!
Amethyst Go Holo-Pearl!
(Distracted by Amethyst's cheering/mocking, the hologram disarms Pearl.)
Holo-Pearl Opening detected. *attacks*
(Pearl dodges the incoming attack, sliding to her sword and then blocks another attack allowing her to lunge at the hologram, defeating it.)
Holo-Pearl Match set. Challenger wins.
Steven Woohoo! Yay, Pearl! *runs over to Pearl*
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to battle again?
Steven *circles around her* Pearl! That was amazing, you were so cool!
Pearl *blushes and laughs* Oh-hoho, well, one does try their best.
Steven *makes sword fighting actions* *excitedly* Will you teach me to sword fight like you?!
Pearl *laughs* Alright, but we should start with the basics. *to hologram, clears throat* Initiate, training mode. (Hologram rises to feet.)
Holo-Pearl Training mode initiated. Level 1. Begin!
Pearl I want you to stand back Steven, and watch me carefully, okay?
Holo-Pearl *begins basic attack sequence* Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust! *chants this continuously in the background*
Pearl Do you see what I'm doing with my feet, Steven? Notice where I keep my center of gravity.
Steven *loses excitement while Pearl explains* Aw, can you show me something cool? Like the Boomerang Blade!
Pearl Steven, you know that's not a real sword technique.
Steven *chanting* Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade!
Pearl *turns attention to Steven, annoyed* Steven, these are real sword techniques. Not those silly things from your movies. It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to-
(Holo-Pearl stabs Pearl in the stomach area while saying "thrust". Pearl cries out.)
Steven *gasps*
Amethyst Woah. *sits up*
Garnet Oh no.
(Pearl drops her sword, which hits the ground with a loud clang.)
Steven ...Pearl?
Pearl *looks at the sword sticking out of her chest, chuckles nervously* *tries to reassure Steven* W-whoopsie-daisy! Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just- *suddenly she poofs into a cloud of dust as her gemstone falls to the ground*
Steven NOOOOOO! *slides to her gemstone* *picks up gem* P-Pearl? Peaaarl....
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. Level 1 failed.
Garnet & Amethyst Steven! *hurry over to Steven*
Steven *upset* I-I was just... a-aand she was trying to-
Amethyst *puts hand on his back* Steven, it's okay, Pearl's gonna be just fine.
Steven *looks to Garnet* Whaddya mean?
Garnet [Camera focuses on Garnet] Sometimes, if our bodies are badly damaged, we release our physical forms and retreat to our gems to regenerate.
Steven *starts to lighten up* So she's gonna be okay? (Garnet nods.)
Amethyst *sits down* Don't worry, bud. These kinds of things just happen sometimes. Usually to me.
Garnet Always to you.
Amethyst *to Garnet* Hey, I'm scrappy. Whaddya want?
Steven *laughs* So, how long will it take her to regenerate? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? (Garnet and Amethyst both frown.)
[Time Skip—two weeks. Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven places Pearl's gem into a hand basket, which he places under lamp, hoping to incubate it.)
Steven *sigh* What's taking so long?
(Garnet and Amethyst warp in, Amethyst still rides atop the floating cloud.)
Amethyst What up?
Steven *depressed* Heeey.
Amethyst *floats over* She's still not done? Man, she's really taking her time with this one. Gotta tell you though, love what you've done with the place.
(Both observe the messy state of the house, trash everywhere, things thrown carelessly to the ground, and dishes piled up in the kitchen. Garnet in the background goes into her room.)
Steven Pearl usually helps me tidy up.
Amethyst Eh, I say leave it.
Steven Hey! If real Pearl can't be here, there's always the next best thing! *runs over to Holo-Pearl, who stands in the corner of the room with a sheet over its head, which he removes*
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to engage in combat?
Amethyst Steven, *sighs* cover that thing back up.
Steven But it's like Pearl. Look at it.
Amethyst Yeahhh... That ain't Pearl.
Steven Well, maybe I can get it to act like her.
[Trans. Steven's Room]
(Steven shows Holo-Pearl his room, which is as messy as the rest of the house.)
Steven Here we have, a mess. Organizing messes is one of Pearl's favorite hobbies. Here. *bends down and picks up toys* Pearl likes to organize them by type. Animal, humanoid, miscellaneous. Now you try. *picks up toy with sword prop*
Holo-Pearl *switches to combat mode* You've drawn your sword in vain!
Steven What? (Holo-Pearl lunges.) Ah! *tosses toy which is pierced by the hologram*
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. *switches to stand-by mode*
Steven Maybe we need to try something else.
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Garnet and Amethyst stand on the beach, Amethyst holds a piece of cloud in her hands, Steven and Holo-Pearl watch from a distance.)
Amethyst *holds cloud near mouth* I'm gonna do it.
Garnet Go on then. (Amethyst swallows the cloud, causing her to inflate and float upwards. Garnet grabs her before she floats off.)
Steven *laughs* Pearl always likes to tease Amethyst when she does funny stuff like this.
Holo-Pearl *holding an umbrella* I won't go easy on you this time!
Steven That's the spirit. *walks over to others* What are you rascals doing over here?
Holo-Pearl Draw your weapon, challenger! *points umbrella like a sword and opens it*
Amethyst Ugh, Steven, why are you still hanging out with that thing? It's gross. *burps out a piece of cloud*
Steven I just really miss spending time with Pearl.
Garnet Pearl will come back to us in time, Steven. Have patience. And stop hanging out with that thing. It's creepy. *crosses arms, accidentally letting Amethyst float away*
Amethyst Wh-o-o-o-oa!
Garnet Hmm...
[Trans. Pearl's Tree]
(Holo-Pearl and Steven stand atop a hill next to Pearl's tree, Steven holds a stuffed walrus and Holo-Pearl holds a balloon sword, wearing a balloon crown.)
Steven You had fun at the boardwalk, right?
Holo-Pearl Parry!
Steven Oh come on, you gotta work with me here. This is Pearl's favorite tree. Don't you recognize it? What's on your mind? Come on, don't hold back.
Holo-Pearl *switches to combat mode* Challenge accepted!
Steven What? *ducks, Holo-Pearl slices tree in half with balloon sword* Oh no, the tree!
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. *switches to stand-by mode*
Steven Real Pearl would never do that! Grr, you're hopeless! Get away from me! *runs off*
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Rain and lighting belt down once more, Steven watches the down pour from the window seal while caring for Pearl's gem, nestled in a blanket beside him.)
Steven *to gem* It's too bad you're still not back, Pearl. Because I just found a copy of the fifth Lonely Blade movie! *shows movie cover* *sighs* How long are you gonna make me wait, Pearl? *beeps go off in the background* *gasps* Oh, the popcorn's done, stay right there.
(Gets up and takes out popcorn, as he turns around, Holo-Pearl suddenly appears behind him, shocking Steven.)
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to test your skills against me in a duel?
Steven No! No sword fighting! (Steven attempts to walk up to his bedroom, but lightning flashes and Holo-Pearl appears behind him.)
Holo-Pearl Draw your sword and fulfill your destiny!
Steven No! Leave real Pearl and me alone! *tosses sheet back over Holo-Pearl* Go back under your sheet.
(Steven watches the movie with Pearl's gem, this time in English.)
Lonely Blade *on TV, in English* Brother, is that you?
LB's Brother *as a zombie* Yes. It's me. Your... brother. Your technique is... *audio plays on in background*
Steven Woah, this dub is really good. What do you think, Pearl?
Holo-Pearl *appears suddenly, still under sheet, with sword* Parry!
Steven Gah! Grr... *continues to watch movie*
LB's Brother Brother!
Lonely Blade Just wait a minute... you're not my real brother! Grr, Boomerang Blade! *unsheathes swords*
LB's Brother Your technique is impressive. But it won't be enough.
(Off screen, Steven begins to remember the moment Pearl was struck.)
[Flashback]
Pearl It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to-
[End Flashback, Steven's eyes close at the thought of the followed moment]
Holo-Pearl Thrust! *breaks TV*
Steven Ah, the TV! Why must you destroy the things I love?
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. Continue?
Steven I hate you, I hate you! You're nothing like Pearl! Pearl is smart, and she always wants to protect me from danger. All you want to do is fight me!
Holo-Pearl Challenge accepted!
Steven Grr, alright fine! *pushes Holo-Pearl*
Holo-Pearl Basic attack mode, initiated. Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust!
Steven Stop saying that! *picks up toys and throws them at it, landing a single hit*
Holo-Pearl Basic attack mode defeated. Now initiating advanced mode! *eyes turn red*
(Holo-Pearl attacks Steven who retreats to the kitchen.)
Steven *picks up toy walrus* Walrus shield! *The walrus gets cut in half.* Ah! *searches for another item* Snacks, pillow, fuzzy flower, boomerang? ... Boomerang! *throws boomerang which promptly flies around Holo-Pearl and returns to his hand* Ah!
(Steven dodges an attack and lands in the kitchen, taking up a mop which Holo-Pearl chops short and begins to unleash a flurry of attacks while Steven dodges.)
Steven *dodging attacks* Pearl! I should have just ... waited for you to come back. I should've waited for- (Holo-Pearl raises it's sword above its head, revealing an opening, Steven gasps.) The perfect moment! Boomerang Blade! (Steven launches the mop at the hologram, striking it.)
Holo-Pearl Challenger wins. Do you wish to duel again?
Steven Noooo!
(Steven takes the mop from within the hologram and begins to wipe away its remaining remnants, Garnet and a still inflated Amethyst enter from outside.)
Garnet Steven, we heard fighting. *pulls Amethyst in like a balloon*
Amethyst Ow. Are you alright? What's going on?
Steven Oh, just moppin'. *hologram begins to regenerate, gasps* Die! *hits final remnant* You know, I might miss Pearl a whole lot, but, sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are before you- (Pearl's gem glows.)
(Pearl's gem flies up, and hovers in the air, whilst glowing and regenerates, with a slightly different outfit.)
Steven Never mind! Pearl's back!
Pearl *gasps* Ah, that's much better. (Steven runs over to hug her.) Oof, hey, miss me much?
Steven Ah man, I had this whole thing planned out for when you came back!
Pearl *observing mess* Uh, Steven. What happened to your room? *sees inflated Amethyst* I don't even want to know what happened to you.
Amethyst *in a funny voice* I got hit by an airplane!
(Steven returns, with his shirt tied around his head, using a pot and wooden spoon as a drum.)
Steven *chanting whilst hitting pot with a wooden spoon* Pearl's back! Pearl's back! Pearl's back!
Pearl Steven, what are you doing? (Steven continues to chant and Amethyst burps more of the cloud out, sighs.) I can't leave you guys alone for a second.
Steven *jumps up* Pearl's back!
[END]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin Party
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time