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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Rocknaldo". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Storm in the Room" Next: "Tiger Philanthropist"
Speaker Dialogue
[The episode starts with a panoramic view of Beach City. Steven is taking a stroll on the boardwalk.]
Steven [Sighs] Space is great, but nothing beats some good ol' atmosphere.
Ronaldo The horror! The terror! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
(Onion jumps in out of the blue)
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? Mr. Smiley, protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City?
Steven I'll protect myself from the menace that threatens Beach City.
Ronaldo Steven! I knew I could count on you!
(Steven takes a pamphlet and sits down on a bench)
Steven Let's get knowledgeable! "How to Protect Yourself Against Rock People"? What? "Alien entities walk among us"? "They're adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl-" "They hate men"?!
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that-
Steven Ronaldo! Wait! What is this?
Ronaldo Well, technically, it's an infozine pamphlet, but I've been calling them "Ronalphlets."
Steven I get that part. I'm talking about all this mean stuff you're saying about the Crystal Gems!
Ronaldo No-no-no. Crystal Gems aren't Rock People. Crystal Gems fight Rock People. See my documentary Rising Tides, Crashing Skies.
Steven Crystal Gems don't just fight Rock People. We are Rock People! Also, don't say "Rock People". It's offensive.
Ronaldo Rock People are different, obviously. For starters, they have rocks embedded in their bodies.
Steven (Lifts up shirt, showing his gemstone) Like this?
Ronaldo But they can summon weapons from the Mud Dimension.
(Steven summons his shield)
Ronaldo No-no, you're not getting it. They can alter their forms. That's how they trick humans into loving them!
(Steven shapeshifts his finger into a cat finger)
Ronaldo Aww! Wait a second. You're a Rock Person?!
Steven I'm a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo. (Dismisses cat finger and his shield) And you're not wrong about everything. We're just ignored and misunderstood.
Ronaldo I'm so glad you're the only one that took a Ronalphlet! I'm so sorry! [Weeps]
Steven Hey, it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Just as long as you realize that the Crystal Gems and I aren't that different from you.
Ronaldo Right. Thanks, Steven. I gotta go... rethink some things.
[The scene switches to the interior of the Beach House. The Crystal Gems are reading Ronaldo's blog]
Amethyst (Reading Ronaldo's post) "I'm shutting down my blog," blah blah blah, "social media," blah. "I may never come back to the Internet!" [Chuckles] Whoa, dude.
Pearl I suppose it's a good thing that he's taking time to think.
Steven There's a new post.
Pearl Hmmm.
Steven It's a video.
Ronaldo Good day, loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird. I've come to you today because I pride myself in bringing you the truth about all the weird stuff in Beach City the Man doesn't want you to know about. But today, I need to tell you some truths about this man! I've mixed up what is right and wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems. I feel terrible about my mistake because I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider. That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems!
Amethyst [Snorts, laughs]
Pearl What?!
(Ronaldo's video keeps playing in the background)
Ronaldo (Knocks door, and then slam opens the door) Steven!
Steven Ronaldo...
Ronaldo Guess what!
Steven You want to join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo [Gasps] I thought you'd never ask! You know, I always felt strangely at home here.
Pearl Unh-unh. No. You are not living here. And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo But...
Garnet You don't have a gem. Your body is organic.
Steven My body's organic and I'm a Crystal Gem.
Pearl You're going to entertain this?
Steven We're all different, but we love and accept each other. That's what Crystal Gems do. And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show him what we're about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem, too?
Pearl Uhhh...
Garnet (Slowly claps)
Amethyst (Claps) Let's do this!
Pearl Well, it's not the strangest house guest we've had.
[Steven and Ronaldo are in Steven's room; Ronaldo is rummaging through his luggage]
Ronaldo So, when do I get issued my gem?
Steven Oh... It doesn't really-uh-eh- But if you had a gem, what would you want it to be?
Ronaldo Well, I care so much, I think it'd be, like, deep in my heart. Or like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like-like... Bloodstone!
Steven Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.
Ronaldo Wait! Check it out! (Pulls out a sword) I have a Gem Weapon now, too!
Steven Wow! A sword!
Ronaldo I got it at DelmarvaCon last year. It's a replica from the anime I Can't Believe My Stepdad's My Sword. It can cut through a carton of milk like a carton of butter!
Steven There's a half-full juice box by the TV.
(Ronaldo unsheathes the sword and hits the juice box, sending it flying to the fridge.)
Ronaldo [Grunts]
(Steven tapes a paper star on Ronaldo's shirt)
Steven Nice! That star looks good on you.
Ronaldo Thanks.
(The other Gems warp in)
Amethyst Mission time!
Ronaldo Awesome! Let me grab my katana from upstairs. (Ronaldo jumps on the couch, trying to reach the sword and fails miserably.) [Wheezes, pants] I'ma take the stairs.
Pearl Uh, I'm sorry, Bloodfry. You're going to have to sit this one out. It's a bit dangerous.
Ronaldo But Steven gets to go.
Garnet Steven is different. He's been training with us for years.
Steven Don't worry, Bloodstone. I didn't get to come along at first either. We can start your training soon. Be back in a bit!
(The Gems warp out)
Ronaldo But... I'm a Crystal Gem, too.
(Ronaldo is standing in front of Steven and inspecting him with a pair of binoculars)
Steven Um... hi, Bloodstone.
Ronaldo Oh. Hi, Steven. Didn't see you there. So... how'd the mission go without me holding you back?
Steven Uh, it went fine. You know, the usual - fighting monsters, sharing emotions.
Ronaldo I'm glad you didn't get hurt. With me not there.
Steven Yeah... Well, I'm heading out.
Ronaldo And you're going out like that?
Steven Uh... like what?
Ronaldo Well, I just think a real Crystal Gem would want to show off their gem, like, all the time. If I had a gem, I'd show mine off.
(Steven ties a knot in the bottom of his shirt, revealing his gem)
[The scene changes to the Beach House at night; Steven is in bed]
Steven's Phone You are in a quiet forest. The trees are quiet. The sky is quiet. A small rabbit begins to sing. Ahhh...
Ronaldo Rah!
Steven What the-
Ronaldo [Inhales] [Grunts] (Hits a milk carton with his sword, splashing milk in Steven's face)
Steven [Sighs] Bloodstone, I know you want to train, but it's bedtime.
Ronaldo Funny that you... sleep, when Gems don't need sleep. Why is that?
Steven I-I don't know. Because I'm half human, I get tired and I...
Ronaldo Huh. Well, I'm two halves human, and I'm not [Yawns] tired at all.
(Ronaldo swings the sword around. He drops it. Steven's eye twitches.)
Ronaldo Ever since I became a Crystal Gem, uh... sleeping... [Chuckles] I don't... do it.
Steven That's great, Bloodstone.
Ronaldo (Sleepy) What a cool name. I'm so cool. (Falls off to the first floor)
[The next day, just outside of Steven's house, Connie is leaving.]
Steven Bye, Connie! See you tomorrow for sword training! (Bumps into Ronaldo) Ah!
Ronaldo Her gem weapon's a sword, huh? She totally ripped that off from me.
Steven What?! That sword belonged to my mom!
Ronaldo How come I don't get your mom's gempon? That's "Gem" and "weapon".
Steven Well, Connie's been a part of the Crystal Gems longer than you, so...
Ronaldo Admit it. She's just in because she's your girlfriend.
Steven What are you talking about?!
Ronaldo She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality groove I've established! If she was a real Crystal Gem, she'd be a little bit more dedicated!
Steven Are you serious?! Bloodstone, ever since you got here, all you've done is boss me around! Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem?! You're just-You're just... a guy with a blog!
Ronaldo (Deadpan) Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you're the one that isn't a Crystal Gem. I think you need to leave and think about stuff.
Steven (Pacing outside) What is my problem? He just wanted to be included. If I were really a Crystal Gem, I'd never... wait a second.
(Steven goes back into the Beach House)
Ronaldo [Maniacally laughs] Amethyst! [Laughs]
Amethyst Yo, I didn't even say anything.
Steven Bloodstone! We need to talk! You're right! The Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance! But you've been acting really mean to me, and I don't love that. I don't accept that. I wish I hadn't snapped at you, it's just... I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems. But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring. This isn't the Bloodstone club about making Bloodstone feel good. This is my whole life! Do you care about that or not?!
(Ronaldo's star starts falling off, and then he faints)
Amethyst Whoa! You truthed him so hard, he died!
Steven No! Bloodstone! Bloodstone!
Ronaldo [Snores]
Steven [Sighs] He's just asleep. Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.
Pearl Well, what do we do with Fryrocko now?
[The Crystal Gems bring Ronaldo to Beach Citywalk Fries, and drop him on the ground outside]
Garnet We should let his parent know he's back.
Amethyst (Shapeshifts into Ronaldo) Hey, Dad. I'm back. Blog, blog, blog.
Pearl That was really good!
Amethyst (Shapeshifts back) Thanks!
Steven I'll... text Peedee and let him know he's here. You think he'll be okay?
Amethyst You've worried about him enough, Steven.
Garnet Crystal Gems, let's head back.
(Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst jump away farther down the beach and walk away)
Ronaldo [Snores]
[Three weeks later, Steven is walking around the boardwalk with a worried expression on his face]
Steven (Sees Ronaldo standing by a bench) Bloodstone!
Ronaldo Oh. Hey, Steven.
Steven Are you all right? I haven't seen you in three weeks.
Ronaldo Yeah. I took a real long nap, and then I did some hard thinking. I wasn't acting like Bloodstone. I was acting like [Inhales] Jerknaldo. You accepted me, but I still felt like an outsider. I guess even amongst outsiders, I am the ultimate outsider. I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman work alone.
Steven Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.
Ronaldo I still do. (Hands Steven a new "Ronalphlet")
Steven Oh. It's you and Pearl shaking hands. When did that happen?
Ronaldo I used the magic of photo-editing software. Hey, but, uh... Ronalphlets aside, can I ask you something?
Steven Yeah?
Ronaldo Why don't you use your Gem name?
Steven Oh. My Gem name is my mom's name. Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is if they're about to kidnap me or beat me up.
Ronaldo That's rough, buddy. You want me to put that in the Ronalphlet?
Steven Eh... maybe not.
Ronaldo Got it.
(The screen closes in a star shape on Ronaldo's face.)


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin Party
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time