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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Restaurant Wars". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Beach City Drift" Next: "Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service"
Speaker Dialogue
[Episode begins at Beach Citywalk Fries]
(Steven walks up to the counter where Peedee is)
Steven Give... me... the...
(Steven puts his fists down on the counter and pauses)
Peedee Just hurry up and say it, Steven.
Steven Mm, Actually... what else you got?
(Steven points his fingers at Peedee)
Peedee You could order actual fries.
Steven Nah. Let's really try and shake things up today.
(Steven throws his arms in the air)
Steven I want to order (Steven puts his fingers in quotations) "off-menu."
Peedee [sigh] You always order off-menu, Steven. Let me see what I can find. I'll be back in a sec.
Steven I really appreciate it!
(Peedee goes into the back of the shop)
[Moments later]
Peedee Steven! Check this out!
(Peedee puts a tray mozzarella sticks on the counter)
Peedee Boom!
Steven Mozzarella sticks!
(Steven picks up the tray)
Steven With all the fixin's?!
Peedee I can't believe it either! They were way back in the freezer for some reason. Feels good to fry something else for a change.
Steven Thanks, Peedee.
(Steven walks down the boardwalk, taking a bite out of one of the mozzarella sticks. He passes Fish Stew Pizza where Kofi Pizza watches through the door. Kofi runs out of the pizzaria towards Steven.)
Kofi Steven! What is this?!
Steven (Steven's mouth full of food) Um...
Kofi Bread... cheese... sauce! The basic elements of a pizza! Where did it come from?
(Steven points to Beach Citywalk Fries)
Steven Mm.
Kofi Fryman... infringing on my business. I have been ready for this day!
(Kofi walks back into Fish Stew Pizza and puts up a new sign that says "Now serving fries.")
Steven [Muffled] "Now serving... fries"?!
(Drums play in the background)
Mr. Fryman So... it begins anew. Eh, Kofi?
Kofi Just like old times, Fryman.
Mr. Fryman Kofi!
Kofi Fryman!
Kofi and Mr. Fryman Res-tau-rant wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-r!
(Steven watches the two, confused.)
[Black screen that says Restaurant War in red text. Underneath in white text it says First Strike]
(Later in the day, fries, ketchup, pizza slices, bread sticks, and people are seen lying down on the ground. A seagull swoops down and takes a bread stick, and when Steven passes a shirt shop, the employee hides in fear and a random person Steven passes by says "Too Many Carbs". Then Steven spots a pizza mascot outside Beach Citywalk Fries.)
Steven Peedee?
(Peedee turns to Steven and then looks away.)
Peedee Don't look at me, Steven.
(Steven puts his hand on the mascot's shoulder which causes Peedee to scream.)
Steven But...
Peedee I said, don't look at me!
Steven W-what happened?
Peedee I violated the food treaty.
Steven What do you mean?
Peedee Years ago...
(A treaty is shown in the background with Mr. Fryman and Kofi shaking hands.)
Peedee My dad and Kofi signed an agreement to not steal each other's business, but when I fried up those mozzarella sticks, (The background turns into flames.) I re-ignited the hot oil of war.
(Peedee sighs and puts his hand on his eye.)
Steven [Sighs] Don't blame yourself. I was the one who wanted to shake things up.
Peedee Oh, yeah. It's your fault.
Mr. Fryman Hey, Steven! As a valued customer, I want to know your thoughts on a new menu item.
(Mr. Fryman pulls out a fried pizza.)
Mr. Fryman Deep-fried Pizza!
Steven A-actually, could I just get some fries?
Mr. Fryman Sorry, we're all out of fries.
Steven What?! Even the bits?!
(Mr. Fryman pulls out a tray of pizza bits.)
Mr. Fryman We have pizza bits now.
Steven But how can you guys be out of fries? This is the fry shop! You're Fryman! Look at your hair.
Mr. Fryman What about my hair?
(In the back of the fry shop.)
Ronaldo [Groans] I can't connect to Fish Stew Pizza's wifi.
Mr. Fryman Hey, you got no time for interneting. You're doing deliveries now.
(Mr. Fryman takes Ronaldo's laptop and gives him a bag of food to deliver.)
Ronaldo But I don't even have a car!
Mr. Fryman You got those wheelie shoes, don't ya?
Ronaldo Yeah...
(Ronaldo turns on the ball at the bottom of his left sneaker and skates out of the shop. Steven, looking guilty, walks away into Fish Stew Pizza where Kiki is taking orders and Jenny is behind the counter.)
Steven Jenny, You're working the counter?
Jenny I know right? Things have been crazy since the war has been back on!
Jenny The phones have been ringing off the hook.
Kiki I'll get it!
(Kiki picks up the phone off-screen.)
Kiki Thanks for calling Fish Stew Pizza. We do fries now.
Jenny Anyway, I'm obligated to tell you about our special new menu item.
(Jenny takes out a pen and notepad.)
Jenny French-fried pizza with French-fried crust and twice-baked French fries on the side. [Sighs] 'Cause we do fries now.
Steven I'd just rather have my usual --
Kofi Steven!
Steven Oh. hey, Kofi.
Kofi Before you place your order, you must sign [Grunts as he picks up papers] these papers... and pledge your allegiance to Fish Stew Pizza! Not only that, you'll be issued a brand-new, permanent, V.I.P. pizza-eater card!
(Kofi takes out a branding iron that says VIP on it, scaring Steven out of Fish Stew Pizza.)
Mr. Fryman Steven! Come back! (Running towards him) Hey, Steven, y-you forgot your pizza bits!
Steven What? Aah!
Kofi Steven! (Pulls out branding iron) Let me reward you for being such a good customer!
Steven (Yells and runs away) Aah! What have I done?!
[Black screen with red text "Restaurant War" with white text under it saying "Hearts & Minds"]
(At The Temple)
Steven (Off screen) Thank you all for coming. (Steven walks while in front of them while talking) Ronaldo... Kiki... Jenny... and Peedee, I've called you all here tonight because... (Turns around and slams hands on nearby table) this war between your parents has to stop!
Jenny Steven, How do you think we feel?! Do you know how many metal concerts I've missed because of this war?
Kiki How many?
Jenny Mm, like... one?
Ronaldo Do you know how much (Slams fists on table) blogging I haven't been able to do?!
Steven I don't, but this is all my fault. If only my taste buds weren't so adventurous. I promise to find a way to work this out.
Peedee How? There's no end in sight to all this fighting.
Steven Hmm. We need to stop this hate with some sort of opposite of hate. [Gasps] Ronaldo!
Ronaldo Hmm?
Steven Kiki!
Kiki Hmm?
Steven You're sitting next to each other.
Kiki Where are you going with this, Steven?
Steven You guys should pretend to be in love! There won't be any time for fighting if your families have to plan a wedding together.
Kiki Well... I guess we could try? Anything to get this war over with.
Steven All right! We'll fight this war with the power of love!
Ronaldo No way! We can't do this because I... have a girlfriend.
Jenny Where's she at, though?
Peedee You said what I was thinking.
Steven Okay, you don't have to pretend to get married. Just pretend to be in love long enough to get this feud over with.
Ronaldo I... got a bad feeling about this.
Jenny Shut up, Ronaldo! Nothing bad is going to happen, and you'll get to spend time with the cutest girl in Beach City.
(Back at Beachcity boardwalk)
Ronaldo (Holding up flowers dramatically) Ah, Kiki, my darling.
Kiki Oh, Ronaldo, My sweet. (Holding the same type of flowers behind their back)
Ronaldo (Running towards Kiki and her running to him) My dear, sweet Kiki, who I love with all my blog.
Mr. Fryman (Sticks head out of window) What the...
Kiki [Giggles] oh, Ronaldo, you're so sweet and quirky in a way I can tolerate.
Kofi (Runs out the door) Kiki, why aren't you in here, working your shift?!
Mr. Fryman Yeah, come on, Ronaldo. We got customers to take care of.
Ronaldo But, Dad, ever since this war started, I've had to spend countless hours away from my beloved Kiki.
Kofi and Mr. Fryman What?!
Kiki It's true. The only way for us to be together is if we quit working!
Steven (From a distance) Are you telling me that you two are involved in a romantic relationship?!
Ronaldo That's right, Steven. We have been for some time now.
Kofi (Watching Ronaldo) Mm-hmmm! You two are only hugging, right?
Ronaldo Uh, yes, sir! Just hugs and longing looks. (chuckles nervously)
Mr. Fryman Well, Kofi, love is a beautiful thing.
Kofi Yes, love is beautiful. We must end this feud in order for this love to blossom.
Mr. Fryman Yeah! The restaurant war is officially over!
Jane Ronaldo? I come all this way to return your "Koala Princess" DVDs, only to find you with another girl?
Jenny and Peedee (Both slide between their Dads) Wha-a-a-a-a-t?!
Ronaldo Jane, my sweet, this was all just a trick to get my dad to stop selling mozzarella sticks!
Jane Save it for your blog -- Keep Beach City Single! (Jane runs away crying.)
Ronaldo Jane, my Ohime-sama. Ooh! (Ronaldo falls on his face, crying of who he lost.)
Kofi (Kofi and Mr. Fryman cross their hands) The deal is off!
Mr. Fryman Guh! Fine by me! (Mr. Fryman starts walking away) Peedee, fire up those fryers!
Kofi (Runs to his restaurant) Kiki, pick up the phone!
(Everyone else sighs.)
Ronaldo (Whimpering and crying on the floor while holding out his hand) Ja-a-a-ane...
[Cut to the Temple Home.]
(Peedee's seated on a stair, Kiki, Steven, and Jenny on the couch, and Ronaldo walks around crying while texting on his phone.)
Jenny Ugh, what are we gonna do?!
Steven Hmm... Peedee said the last time the war ended because your dad and his dad came together to sign a treaty. How did that happen?
Kiki Well, you know where Suitcase's Sams is? It used to be a restaurant called The Everything Buffet.
Jenny Oh, yeah! They sold everything!
Kiki But it wrecked the boardwalk's economy! Not one store could compete. But just when everyone thought all hope was lost, our Dad and Mr. Fryman teamed up and ran them out of town.
Steven Hmm. Another restaurant eh? I think I have a plan.
[Black screen with red text "Restaurant War" with white text under it saying "Operation: Let's get cooking."]
[Outside Steven's house, this time with a cardboard sign stating "Steven's"]
(Kofi's family and Mr. Fryman's family await as Steven opens the door.)
Steven Welcome to the Grand opening of Steven's. Right this way. (Steven holds the door as he points his customers to their seats.)
(Mr. Fryman removes his cap as a sign of respect and manners.)
Peedee Hmph, Nice Ambiance.
Mr. Fryman Ahem! (Mr. Fryman crosses his hands) It's all right.
Kofi There are not enough tables!
Kiki There are just enough tables, daddy.
(The Frymans take their seats at the closest table, while the Pizzas take their seats at the only other table in the room.)
Pearl (Approaches the Frymans, dressed as a waiter) Hello, gentlemen. May I take your order?
Ronaldo I'm full... of sadness! (Begins sobbing uncontrollably and slams his head down on the table)
Mr. Fryman I will have the Fantastic Fries.
Pearl (Writing the order down) Order taken. (Walks to the Pizzas' table)
Mr. Fryman (Leans toward Peedee) I bet they're not as fantastic as ours.
Pearl And for you?
Kofi I will have the Pizza Bagel! (Pearl walks away.) I doubt a pizza bagel can beat pizza that isn't on a bagel. (Chuckles)
(Pearl hands Steven the orders.)
Steven Ah, let's see. Wonderful -- two of our best dishes!
Pearl Our only dishes.
Steven Amethyst, order up! Fire one fry and one pizza! (Claps twice)
Amethyst Yes, chef!
(Steven and Amethyst prepare the meals.)
Pearl (Setting down the pizza bagel in front of Kofi) Here's your order, sir.
Kofi Heh, pizza on a bagel, indeed!
Pearl (Setting down a plate of fries in front of Mr. Fryman) And for you, sir.
Mr. Fryman Uh, can I get some ketchup?
Pearl Sorry, no additions or substitutions.
Mr. Fryman Ha! This place is all talk! You can't have fries without ketchup. (Eats a fry and is suddenly stricken with disbelief) The ketchup... is inside the fries!?
(Steven smirks, realizing that he has bested Fryman.)
Kofi There's cream cheese in this pizza bagel. It adds a whole other level of flavor! And with pizza on a bagel, you can eat pizza any time!
Mr. Fryman It's amazing!
Kofi It's genius!
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi look at each other and nod in agreement. The two then angrily approach Steven.)
Steven Ah, gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your meal. Is there something I can help you with?
Mr. Fryman Steven, (Cracks his knuckles) we didn't want to have to do this, but... (Clasps his hands together)
Kofi Please, shut this place down!
Steven What's this? You want me to close my lovely establishment?
Mr. Fryman (Drops to his knees, hands clasped. Kofi does the same.) Steven, we're begging you!
Kofi We can't compete with a place like this!
Mr. Fryman You'll drive us out of business!
Kofi (Points at the door) There's already a line!
(Screen cuts to show the door, with Onion standing on the other side, fork in hand.)
Steven I'll close up shop under one condition.
Kofi and Mr. Fryman Anything!
Steven Stop this foolish war! Cook for yourselves and the good of the boardwalk! No more cooking out of hate and spite.
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi smile at each other.)
Kofi Let's just do, what we do best!
Mr. Fryman Agreed!
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi hug each other.)
Peedee, Kiki, and Jenny Yeah!
(The families celebrate, with the exception of Ronaldo, who still has his face down on the table.)
Jenny Good job, daddy.
Mr. Fryman Do you hear that, Ronaldo? The war's over!
(Ronaldo, still crying, gives a thumbs up.)
Steven Glad that's settled. (Looks at the Gems in the kitchen) Y'all help me clean this place up.
Amethyst Sorry. We on break.
(Screen stars in on Garnet, who gives two claps before the screen cuts to black.)
[Episode ends.]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey Wins
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time