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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Lars' Head". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Off Colors" Next: "Dewey Wins"
Speaker Dialogue
The episode begins in the abandoned Homeworld Kindergarten; Steven and the Off Colors are observing the recently resurrected Lars in awe.
Lars [Groans] What the heck just happened?
Steven (Hugs Lars) Lars! You saved us! You stopped the Robonoids, but - but one of them exploded, and - and you weren't moving, and I started crying. [Gasps] I brought you back to life! It was an accident. I mean, I probably would've done that on purpose if I had known I could do that, but I didn't really ask your permission, so I'm sorry.
Lars Back to life? So I was... away from life? Aah! I'm pink!
Steven Ah! I know. Do you feel okay?
Lars I don't really know.
Steven But your body, are you sore?
Lars No.
Steven Are you tired?
Lars No.
Steven Do you feel good?
Lars No.
Steven Do you feel bad?
Lars No! I guess I just feel really freaked out.
Steven Well, I am, too, so at least we're on the same page here.
Robonoids are heard in the distance.
Rhodonite They're back. Those shattering Robonoids are back!
Fluorite Quickly. Block the entrance.
The Rutile Twins, Rhodonite, and Fluorite move to block the entrance.
Steven Lars, you stay here and rest. (Follows the others)
Lars All right.
Padparadscha I predict Lars will change in hue. What a mystery!
Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins begin pushing a large rock in front of the entrance to their cavern of the Kindergarten; Steven quickly joins them whose greater strength surprises the other two Gems.
Rutile Twins Whoa, strong.
The three finish moving the rock into place.
Rhodonite Is this gonna be enough?
Robonoids are heard and seen passing by on the other side of the blocked entrance.
Fluorite They seem to have overlooked us for the time being.
Padparadscha Quickly, block the entrance!
Steven As long as I'm here, they're gonna keep coming after us.
Rhodonite It's true. This was a horrible plan.
Steven Should we try to find a new hiding spot?
Rhodonite No, no, no! If we leave this cavern, we'll be completely exposed.
Fluorite But if we stay here, they'll find us for sure.
Rutile So, we either stay here and get caught... or we go out there and get caught.
Lars So, wait, am I a zombie now?
Steven No. Well... no! You can talk, and zombies can't do that. I must've healed you. I've healed people before, just never this much.
Lars Just admit it, Steven! I'm a zombie!
Steven Oh, I know. A zombie wouldn't have a heartbeat. (Puts his head to Lars' chest and immediately makes a concerned face) That's, uh, pretty slow. But I think we can rule out pink zombie.
Rutile Thank the stars. What's a zombie?
Rhodonite I can't believe humans just change color like this.
Steven They don't. Well, I guess if you get really cold, you turn blue, and if you get really embarrassed, you turn red.
Rhodonite So what does pink mean? Is Lars gonna explode or something?
Rutile Maybe then Lars will reform with a different color.
Fluorite I'm sure whatever color Lars chooses will be lovely.
Lars (Kneels down) But why am I pink? [Groans]
Steven Even your hair is different. (Touches Lars' hair causing it to glow)
Lars (Pulls back in surprise) Aah! What was that? (Touches his hair) Huh? It, like, lit up, right? You saw it, too.
Steven Uh, yeah.
Lars What did you do? Do it again.
Steven touches Lars' hair; his fingers enter his hair and the spot glows, similar to when Steven accesses Lion's Dimension.
Lars Why is it doing that?
Steven Lars, I think I know what this is. There's something I can try, but no. You don't want me going in your head.
Lars You're going to possess me again?
Steven No. It would be more literal.
Lars Then what is it?
Steven Forget it.
Lars Look, Steven, I'm not gonna get mad, okay? I trust you. Just help me out here. If I've got magic hair now, I want to know.
Steven Everyone stand back.
Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins take a few steps back; after a brief pause, Padparadscha does the same.
Steven All right, now just bend down.
Lars (Bends his head down) Like this?
Steven Now, you might feel a slight foot in your head.
Lars Wait, what?
Steven sticks his foot into Lars' hair; everyone gasps in surprise.
Rhodonite What is happening? They're fusing! They're fusing, right?
Steven You're doing great, Lars.
Lars Uh, okay.
Steven continues climbing into Lars' hair; he takes a deep breath before disappearing completely.
Steven's head pops out of the pink grass and he finds himself in a vast savannah. He sees a small hill with a tree resembling an oak. In the distance, he observes another tree on a hill. Steven walks toward it and notices Rose's belongings around it: her battle flag, a Mr. Universe shirt, and a chest. He glances back at the other tree before exiting the dimension; he pops out of Lion's mane and finds himself back in the Beach House.
Steven [Gasps] Ah. I'm home. I'm home! Guys? Where are they? (Notices a cup on the kitchen counter) Water! (Quickly fills up the cup with the faucet and drinks) Ahh. (Fills up the cup and drinks again) Ahh. [Stomach gurgles] [Gasps] Food. (Makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and begins eating it as tears flow from his eyes) Life is beautiful! (Begins packing a paper bag with food and drink) Got to bring some back for Lars. Wish I could tell everyone I'm okay. (Notices Lion) Oh, Lion. So you were - [Sighs] Gosh, there - there's so much I want to ask you. If only you could talk.
Lion bends his head down.
Steven Thanks, buddy. (Sticks his hand in Lion's mane)
Trans. to abandoned Homeworld Kindergarten
Lars pokes his arm. Steven suddenly emerges from Lars' hair and inhales.
Steven and Lars (Loses balance, falls over, and Steven tumbles out) Aah!
Lars [Groans] (Gets up)
Steven Sorry, Lars.
Lars So what happened? What's in my head?
Steven Home.
Lars Wha?
Steven Everyone, I've made an amazing discovery! I just traveled back to planet Earth by going through Lars' head!
Lars You went back to Earth? What the heck? Is my head like a wormhole?
Steven No, it's way simpler than that. You see, I have a pink pet lion who belonged to my mom when she was still here, and it turns out I can go into his mane, and it transports me to a magical dimension where my mom kept a bunch of artifacts on a hill with a tree, and for some reason, I can't breathe in there. But anyway, when I went into Lars' head, I got transported to the same magical dimension, but it was a new part of it, but since the two are connected, I could reach the portal that leads out of Lion's mane, which is back on Earth!
Lars Uh...
Steven (Offers Lars a sandwich) Here, I brought you some food.
Lars Huh? Thanks, but I-I'll save it for later.
Steven But aren't you hungry? Maybe you only eat magical lizards now like Lion. A-Are you hungry for lizards?
Lars No, I do not want a lizard.
Steven But you haven't eaten in days.
Lars I know. There must be pink magic in my guts now or something.
Rhodonite (Picks up a juice box) What is this box?
Steven It's juice. We drink it back on Earth.
Rhodonite What?
Rutile That's impossible.
Rhodonite Earth?
Rutile There's no way.
Rhodonite Unh-unh.
Padparadscha Steven's back.
Rutile That can't be. I'm incredulous.
Steven Why can't it be?
Fluorite Everyone knows that the Earth...
Rhodonite Was decimated by the Diamond attack! Sorry.
Steven It's not like that. The Diamonds did attack, but there are still Gems living on Earth, and the planet's full of life. (Holds up bag of chips) It grew the potatoes that became these chips (Holds up sandwich) and grew the wheat that eventually became the flour that eventually became the bread that eventually became this sandwich!
Rutile Sand... wich?
Rhodonite But why would Gems still live there?
Steven Because the Earth is a place where we can be ourselves. We can live freely without having to hide who we are.
Rutile Live freely? Without having to hide?
Fluorite That sounds wonderful.
Steven It is. And now that we have this portal, we can all go there.
Lars All? How am I supposed to go through my own head?
Steven Oh. Hmm.
Trans. to Lars' dimension
Steven tries pulling Lars' arm and the rest of his body into the dimension.
Lars [Grunts] Stop! You're gonna break my elbow!
Steven (Leaves Lars' hair) Okay, so that didn't work, but I'm sure there's another way.
Lars No, no, look. I get it. Everyone just go, and I'll stay here. There's no other way out. I'm it. The Earth is way better than this. There's no robots flying around. Just seagulls that fly in front of the sunset and it's beautiful! Just go, you'll see. I took it for granted, so don't pass up this chance.
Rhodonite Well, if you insist.
Rhodonite begins walking forward but the Rutile Twins stop her.
Fluorite We won't do it. Not if it means leaving you behind.
Lars What?! I'm trying to perform a beautiful act over here.
Fluorite We know this planet. We've been hiding in these tunnels for eons. You'll need us to help you get around. Besides, us off colors stick together.
Rutile We'll get to Earth another way. We'll find an alternate route.
Lars (Points at Steven) But you've got to go back.
Steven But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
Lars You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
Steven But, Lars-
Lars Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just let me be somebody who deserved it.
Steven All right, I'll tell everyone you're okay. I'll be back. I can bring whatever you need. Be careful, okay?
Fluorite We will.
Padparadscha We can't leave without Lars!
Rhodonite We'll see you on Earth, I hope. No, no, no. We will!
Steven places his hand on Lars' chest. Lars pushes his hand out of the way and hugs Steven, who embraces him in return.
Steven Um, if you could just...
Lars Oh, yeah. (Bends head down)
Trans. to interior of Beach House
Steven exits Lion's mane and the Gems, Connie, and Greg shortly warp in as they are still depressed about Steven's disappearance.
Pearl This is hopeless.
Steven [Gasps]
Pearl We'll never get that dropship to fly, and we're losing time! Who knows what they're doing to Steven. Hi, Steven. What are we going to d-
Steven I'm back!
Everyone rushes to embrace Steven and Steven becomes glad that he is back home.
Episode Ends


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey Wins
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time