Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Greg the Babysitter". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Speaker Dialogue
[The episode begins with Steven and Greg at It's a Wash]
(A red car exits It's a Wash and Steven waves at it)
Steven Bye! Thanks for coming!
Greg Wow, two customers! The car wash hasn't been that busy since that mud tornado fifteen years ago. They called it "The mud-nado."
Steven Wow, you've worked here longer than I been alive! How'd you even get this job?
Greg Well, I was hanging out with your mom, and --
Steven Hold the phone!
(Steven runs to Greg's Van, panting)
Greg Oh, you're getting fast there.
(Steven comes back with Greg's Guitar and he gives it to him)
Steven Don't tell me, sing me!
Greg You rascal! Can I ever tell you a story without working in a song again?
Steven I'm playing it by ear.
(Greg plays a song about his experience with Rose.)
[Flashbacks start, beginning with Rose dancing on a floor mat.]
Greg You, look at everything you are.
(Young Greg starts the turntable.)
Greg Look at everything you do. It's incredible. As incredible as you.
[Inside the Temple.]
(Greg waits for Rose.)
Greg And me. I guess I'm content to be. On the arm of someone who. Is as incredible as you.
(Gems warp in.)
[Inside Greg's van.]
(Rose is seen enjoying a book with the title, "Passions of Xanxor")
Greg And it's a full-time job admiring. All the ways that you're inspiring.
[Temple cave, snowing.]
(Greg shivers as the cold worsens.)
Greg If I had my way. I'd do it all day. That's why it's really, really hard to say.
[The Beach.]
(Greg puts on "Shampoo Plus" on himself, leaving a pizza slice on his chest accidentally.)
Greg I think I need a little cha-a-ange.
[Temple fence.]
Greg (Greg tears a portion of his shorts as he runs through a sharp fence wire) I think I need a little cha-a-ange.
[Back at the Van.]
Greg I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ange.
(Hours pass as his tan lightens yet the pizza slice remains.)
[At the top of a hill.]
(Rose hurls Greg towards the sky and catches him.)
Greg Oh. I always did believe. That love is all you need. To be a happy man.
Greg Oh. That may have been naive.
(Greg opens his pocket to check whether he has money but realizes he doesn't.)
Greg I guess I need to eat. (Greg finds fry bits and starts nibbling) That wasn't in the plan.
[Back to the Temple cave]
Greg (Amethyst gives a pug on Greg's chest, Pearl ignores him, Garnet gives him a high five, and Rose gives a kiss before they leave for a mission.) And it's a full-time job admiring. All the ways that you're inspiring. If I had my way. I'd do it all day. The only problem is it doesn't pay.
[Near the pier.]
(Greg performs at the pier.)
Greg I think I need a little cha-a-ange. I think I need a little cha-a-ange. I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-ange
(A bystander walks by a drops one dollar into Greg's guitar case. Besides a dollar, two bottle caps and a button are inside.)
Greg Oh, that's not even enough for a bad hot dog.
[Transition to Vidalia's home]
[Doorbell rings]
Greg Sup, Vidalia?
Vidalia [Bubblegum Pop!] Greg... What a surprise.
[Inside Vidalia's home]
Vidalia (Vidalia tries to feed Baby Sour Cream) Ready to eat? You're gonna love these mushed-up carrots! (She takes out a spoon full of it.)
(Sour Cream pats his booster seat's table.)
Vidalia Ooh! Someone's excited! (Brings the spoon closer to Sour Cream) Get ready.
(Sour Cream pretends to try to eat it then denies.)
Vidalia Oh, you're too cool for mushed-up carrots?
Sour Cream Meh.
Greg (Walks into the kitchen) I'm hungry for babies! (ruffles Sour Cream's hair who giggles) [Chuckles]
Vidalia Hey, I'm trying to negotiate here.
Greg (Takes a bowl, milk, and cereal) Ooh! You got the good stuff. (Pours milk on the cereal.)
Vidalia Doesn't your magical girlfriend know how to cook?
Greg Nah, Rose doesn't really need to eat, but I do.
Vidalia Hmm. So have you done anything lately -- besides worship everything she does?
Greg I've been working on some songs for my new album. [Munches]
Vidalia Oh, the same new album you've been working on for six months?
Greg Yep! (Greg starts eating cereal.)
Vidalia Oh, That's good.
Greg How's baby life?
Vidalia How does it look? (Sour Cream throws the carrot mush on Vidalia's face.)
Greg Hard. Mind if I bum around here for the day?
Vidalia No more than usual. Man, you're really selling me on that cereal, Universe.
Greg (Walks to the T.V lounge while eating the cereal) It's so good!
Vidalia (Gets a bowl and the cereal box, rotates the box only to find a pile of dust) Come to mama. [Coughing] Thanks for leaving me all the cereal dust, Greg!
Greg No problem!
Vidalia Ugh! What am I supposed to eat now?
Sour Cream (Pretends to eat the mush) Mmm!
Vidalia Oh, good idea, Sour Cream!
Announcer (T.V) Coming this fall --
[ Doorbell rings ] He's a little butler with a big attitude.
Greg (Greg spills the milk all over himself.) Vidalia, have you seen this com--
Vidalia Whoa! My couch!
Greg [Laughs] Whoops! I guess I made a mess, huh?
[Inside Vidalia's laundry room.]
Vidalia [Washer rumbling] Uhp-uhp! Take it off.
Greg Oh, yeah, sorry. (Takes off his shirt and passes it to Vidalia.)
Greg (Notices Vidalia's outfit) Whoa, that's a look. Where'd you get that shirt?
Vidalia T-Shirt Shop.
Greg You bought that?
Vidalia No, it's my uniform. I work there starting today.
Greg You sold out, V.
Vidalia Got to grow up sometime.
[Telephone rings]
Vidalia Hello? [Door closes] Uh-huh. Wait, what do you mean you can't come? Death in the family? Wait, a hamster doesn't count! You can't do this to me! Look, I -- I really need -- (Caller hangs up) Hey! Hello? Aaaah! Lousy 12-year-old!
Greg What happened?
Vidalia Listen, Greg, my babysitter canceled. I need you to watch Sour Cream for me while I'm at work. Can you do it?
Greg Oh, yeah. Why not? I'm not doing anything. I think.
Vidalia Trust me, you're not.
[Outside Vidalia's home]
Vidalia Okay, don't forget, diaper bag's over there, snacks are over there. Emergency number's on the fridge.
Vidalia (Comes closer to Greg to intimidate him) And if anything bad happens to my kid, you better pray your space goddess' magic can bring people back from the dead, because I will destroy you.
Greg Have fun at work. So, how about it, Sour Cream, you ready to spend the day with your rad Unkie Greg?
Sour Cream Meh.
Greg You really are Vidalia's son, aren't you?
[At the beach]
Greg (Applies sunscreen on Sour Cream) There you go. Okay. Baby Sour Cream, meet sun screen. Oh, can't forget these! (Puts sunglasses on him)
Sour Cream [Laughs]
Greg You're one cool baby!
Rose (Rose descends from the sky) Hi, Greg!
Greg Hi, Rose.
Rose Greg! Where did you get this mini human from?
Greg Oh, this is Sour Cream.
Rose (Filled with wonder) Did you make him?
Greg Wh-what? [Laughs] No. I'm just babysitting for Vidalia.
Rose Hi, Sour Cream. I'm Rose.
Greg Hey, let's show this baby how to beach it.
Rose Yeah!
Greg (Rose and Greg run towards the sea) Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw!
[Both start laughing.]
Greg That feels great! Hey, Sour Cream, look at me. [Laughs] I'm a sand man! [Laughs again] [Spits sand] [Chuckles.] I guess he just likes sitting on this blanket. (Sour Cream nods.)
Rose You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
Greg What do you mean?
Rose You're both human. You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
Greg [Laughs] What?
Rose I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that you grow.
Greg Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. (Sour Cream holds Greg's finger.)
Rose [Laughs] When a Gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment -- you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power -- the ability to "grow up."
Greg Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on. Watch Sour Cream a second. I got to write this down!
Greg (Greg returns holding a guitar) All right, what were you saying? Something really profound, yet relatable? [Guitar thuds, twangs.] Oh, my gosh! Vidalia is gonna destroy me!
(Greg runs in search of Rose and Sour Cream.)
Greg Sour Cream! Rose!
Greg Where are you guys?! [Panting] (Arrives at a trash where a seagull sits) Rose! [Seagull screeches] Hyah! (Shouts into the trash can) Sour Cream?! (Greg looks in hopes they're up there) Are y'all up there?!
[Transition to Funland Arcade]
Greg ( He shouts while playing a game called "Potato Bros.") Sour Cream!
[Transition to Beach City Funland]
Greg (Runs under the sign) Rose Cream! Rose?!
Rose Greg!
Greg (Out of relief) Rose!
Rose Wow, you look tired.
Greg Thank goodness I found the both (Realizes Sour Cream isn't with Rose)-- Where's Sour Cream?! I thought you were gonna watch him for me!
Rose Oh, I watched him. (Rose points to a Ferris wheel cart) I watched him climb all the way... up there.
Greg [Screams]
Rose Isn't this exciting? This'll be a formative experience for him.
Greg Well, not if he falls! Come on! (Pulls Rose with him.)
Rose Okay.
Greg I'll try and get him down.
(Greg starts climbing the Ferris wheel in-order to save Sour Cream.)
Greg [Grunting] Phew. [Grunts] Hey, Baby Cream, stay right there. (Greg grabs Sour Cream) Whew. (Impressed with Sour Cream)How can you be so calm right now? (Greg tries to figure out a way to get down but starts losing his grip) Uh... How do I get... Mmmmmmmmm! (Calls out for Rose) Rose! Help me out! (Greg guides Rose how to start the Ferris Wheel but fails) Are those the controls over there?
Rose Right, yes. Hold on.
Greg I think you got to pull one of those levers!
(Rose pulls the only lever)
Rose This one?
Greg (The Ferris wheel starts rotating) Whoa! It's, uh, going a little too fast. (Strengthens his grip) Hold on, Sour Cream. Whoa! Rose, get me off this crazy thing!
Rose [Grunts]
Rose (Out of anger, she breaks the controls with her fist) Ugh! Leave Greg alone!
(The ferris wheel suddenly speeds up, Greg screams. Rose rushes over and uses her strength to stop the Ferris wheel from rotating. Greg and Sour Cream are propelled towards the sky.)
Greg No-o-o-o-o-o!
Rose Greg!
[ Growls ] Hup!
(Rose rips out a Ferris wheel cart and jumps after them.)
Greg Aaaah! Oof!
(Rose catches Greg using the cart)
Rose Greg.
Greg (Wakes up and checks) Sour Cream! Whew! He's safe.
Sour Cream [Grunts]
Greg Why did you let him climb that thing?
Rose He wanted to.
Greg Well, Rose, you can't just let him do whatever he wants.
Rose But you do whatever you want, and you're fine.
Greg Yeah, but I'm not a baby. I don't need someone to feed me or change my clothes. I don't need someone to save me when I climb on to a Ferris wheel and... Oh, man. I am a baby.
Rose Do you want to get down?
Greg Yeah.
[Vidalia's home]
Vidalia Aw, look at you. Did you have fun with Greg, Sour Cream?
Greg Oh, yeah. Nothing but safe wholesome fun with Unkie Greg. [Chuckles] Listen, Vidalia, um, thanks for the food and everything else. Today has been quite a journey.
Vidalia Okay? Your shirt's clean. You want it back, or are you just gonna go for a topless stroll?
Greg Hey, we all got to grow up sometime, right?
Vidalia That's not really relevant to my question.
(Greg walks away, humming, he finds a car wash with a sign saying "Help Needed." He takes the job.)
(Greg starts his job, wearing their uniform, while singing a car wash version of Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart))
Greg I know I'm not that tall. I know I'm not that smart. Let me drive my van into your wash. Let me drive my van into your wash.
[Back to the Present]
Steven Wow. And you've worked here ever since.
Greg That's right.
Greg You know, people grow, whether they want to or not. But growing up is something you got to decide to do.
Steven Hey, what ever happened to Baby Sour Cream?
Greg No one knows.
Sour Cream (Comes from the back) Meh.
[Star iris closes on Sour Cream.]
[Episode ends]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunited
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time