| Speaker
|
Dialogue
|
| The Crystal Gems fly in the Roaming Eye to Pink Diamond's Zoo.
|
| Pearl
|
The human zoo. I can't believe it still exists.
|
| Steven
|
Dad's gotta be in there. We just have to find him and bust him out.
|
| The Roaming Eye enters the zoo via its ring. The Crystal Gems notice the two Amethyst guards next to a door.
|
| Amethyst
|
Those Gems.
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| Pearl
|
Amethyst guards. Right, like we could just waltz up as an ownerless Pearl, a fusion and, and you.
|
| Steven
|
We just need disguises. I'll be Esteban Universidad.
|
| Pearl
|
Steven, it doesn't matter what your name is. We're all going to stand out.
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| Garnet unfuses into Ruby and Sapphire.
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| Sapphire
|
We won't stand out if we play the roles we were made for.
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| Steven
|
Ruby! Sapphire!
|
| Ruby
|
Okay, everybody. Hear her out.
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| Sapphire
|
Today, I'm a Sapphire traveling with my Ruby guard and my personal Pearl. Esteban, I've brought you as an offering for the zoo.
|
| Steven
|
Pobrecito Esteban!
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| Amethyst
|
Uhh, what about me?
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| Sapphire
|
You're accompanying me as extra muscle.
|
| Amethyst
|
Muscle like them?
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| Sapphire
|
Exactly.
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| Amethyst
|
But I've never even seen another Amethyst before. What do I do? What if I say something wrong?
|
| Sapphire
|
Just look the part. You're new and we're rusty, but we just have to sell this long enough to find Greg.
|
| Pearl
|
Is this really going to work?
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| Sapphire
|
No.
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| Unison
|
[Gasps]
|
| Sapphire
|
Just stick together. Play it straight. Let's change the future.
|
| The Crystal Gems walk out of the Roaming Eye towards the guarded door.
|
| Steven
|
You'll never cage me, you rockheads!
|
| The Crystal Gems encounter the guards.
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| Amethyst
|
[Groans]
|
| Guard 1
|
State your purpose.
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| Sapphire
|
I'm here to make a delivery to the human zoo.
|
| Guard 1
|
Bad news. The human zoo shut down, which means we'll just have to throw you in space.
|
| Steven
|
[Whimpers]
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| Guard 1
|
Heh, look. He believed me.
|
| Guards
|
[Laughs in unison]
|
| Holly Blue Agate enters.
|
| Holly Blue
|
What are you doing?
|
| Guards
|
Nothing, Holly Blue Agate.
|
| Holly Blue notices a Sapphire is here then scolds the Amethysts for messing with her and the group.
|
| Holly Blue
|
[Gasps] Why didn't you tell me there was a Sapphire here? What have you miscreants been saying to them!?
|
| Guard 2
|
Nothing, Holly.
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| Holly Blue
|
You'll have to forgive them. [Laughs] They're from Earth. Ahem! Apologize.
|
| Guards
|
Forgive us!
|
| Holly Blue punches them to say it correctly.
|
| Guards
|
Forgive us, your Clarity!
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| Sapphire
|
No use dwelling on the past. I've brought a new human for the collection.
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| Holly Blue
|
How unprecedented! Nothing for millennia, and then two humans back to back! Well, it's probably for the best that first one wasn't in the best condition.
|
| Steven
|
[Gasps] Dad! That's him!
|
| Ruby
|
Shh!
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| Holly Blue
|
Ohh, their incessant barking. What is it saying?! [Laughs] The other one was loud, too, and all that thrashing about. I'm sure Blue Diamond would want to thank you personally, but you just missed her. Amethyst, take this human to the --
|
| Sapphire
|
Wait! The thing is we've traveled so far, and it would be a shame to leave so quickly. Perhaps you'd grant us a tour of the facility?
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| Holly Blue
|
I would be honored! Right this way, your Grand Clarity. Amethysts are to stay and guard the door.
|
| Amethyst
|
Uhh, but-
|
| Holly Blue
|
The door.
|
| Amethyst
|
[Groans nervously]
|
| Transition to the tour group
|
| Holly Blue
|
Does your Pearl always walk next to you?
|
| Pearl
|
[Chuckles nervously] I'll just be right here.
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| Holly Blue
|
Hmm. Chatty. [Pearl blushes] This facility originally belonged to Pink Diamond and houses and staffs the otherwise useless Quartz that she produced and what was her colony. But Blue Diamond and her trusted Agate, that's me, have been maintaining this place since the dawn of Era 2.
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| The tour group encounters a door. Holly Blue had expected Pearl to open it for them without a prompt.
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| Holly Blue
|
Is she going to do it or should I say something?
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| Sapphire
|
Oh! Pearl, the door.
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| Pearl
|
Hmm? Oh, right, right! [Chuckles] I got it!
|
| Holly Blue
|
You are so patient with her. How do you do it?
|
| Sapphire
|
As a Sapphire, I know it will happen eventually.
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| Pearl opens the door.
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| Holly Blue
|
That will be all.
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| Sapphire
|
Sorry.
|
| Steven
|
Hang in there.
|
| Holly Blue
|
Do keep up, Pearl.
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| Pearl
|
Ugh.
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| Holly Blue
|
The bottom half of this structure is devoted entirely to specimen containment. Apparently, humans don't take well to captivity, but once you understand their needs, they're easy to control. It's tragic that Pink Diamond's existence in this universe ended up being so finite, but what a selfless act for Blue Diamond to step forward and spend her own time and energy preserving this place in Pink Diamond's memory. It's a real testament to Blue Diamond's merciful and giving nature. Don't you think?
|
| Sapphire
|
Uhh, of course.
|
| Ruby
|
Grr!
|
| Steven
|
[Speaking while Holly is speaking] Keep it together, Ruby. Our roles, remember? Gotta Esteban it.
|
| Holly Blue
|
[Speaking while Steven is speaking] And past this way is the health reservation sector...
|
| Holly Blue
|
And here, of course, is the human disposal shoot.
|
| Steven
|
Whaa! Ho-o-ow do you get in the zoo!?
|
| Holly Blue
|
Oh, there it goes again with its hilarious noises.
|
| Sapphire
|
So, how do you get in the zoo?
|
| Holly Blue
|
Excellent question, your Grand Clarity! On the rare occasion that we would need to enter the containment area, we would do so via this service door.
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| Steven
|
Dad. That door's how we get to Dad. We just need to come up with a distraction.
|
| Ruby
|
Got it.
|
| Holly Blue
|
As a one-way access point, there are no risks of an escape. In fact, it's only been used once for a human-
|
| Ruby
|
Explosion!
|
| Holly Blue
|
Pardon me!?
|
| Ruby
|
Uhh, I just remembered I left the gravity engine idling, Sorry, my Sapphire. I'm so forgetful and disposable.
|
| Sapphire
|
What?
|
| Steven, Pearl, and Ruby signal it is part of the plan.
|
| Sapphire
|
A-a-a foreseen turn of events. Yes. It is going to overheat and explode. The damage will be massive.
|
| Holly Blue
|
My word! I don't know why anyone trusts Rubies with those ships! This is what happens.
|
| Sapphire
|
If we hurry, we can disable the engine before any damage is done. It should only take five minutes, so everyone, be on your best behavior.
|
| The group (except Holly Blue, of course) wink their approval of the plan.
|
| Holly Blue
|
This way, your Clarity, although I'm sure you don't need my guidance.
|
| Sapphire and Holly Blue walk off.
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| Ruby
|
[Growls] I can't believe all that stuff about Blue Diamond being merciful! She's a shatterer! She yelled at Sapphire! She hates fusion a-and love!
|
| Steven
|
I know, Ruby, but we don't have much time! We have to open this door!
|
| Ruby
|
Right. Right. Pearl, open it!
|
| Pearl
|
Of course. What else am I good for? [Touches screen] It's different from the others. [Error x2] A-ha! [Error] I actually can't figure this out at all.
|
| Ruby
|
What!?
|
| Steven
|
But Pearl, you're our hacker.
|
| Ruby
|
We don't have time for this! Steven, help me open the door.
|
| Steven
|
Okay.
|
| Ruby
|
And Pearl, hack faster.
|
| Pearl continues to hack while Steven and Ruby bash the door. Sapphire's echoing voice is heard.
|
| Sapphire
|
I am so glad we are almost back! I was really enjoying the tour!
|
| Holly Blue
|
Yes, I can tell by the tone of your voice. Thank you so much again for averting that crisis. [Gasps]
|
| Holly Blue notices the dents on the service door.
|
| Holly Blue
|
What is going on!?
|
| Sapphire
|
Oh, well, I'm sure there's a reasonable-
|
| Holly Blue
|
Did you see the Amethyst that did this!?
|
| Unison
|
[Sighs]
|
| Holly Blue
|
Really? we have guests.
|
| Guard 3
|
Holly Blue Agate! We have important news for you!
|
| Holly Blue
|
We do not run or shout in these hallways!
|
| Guard 3
|
I'm sorry. I-i-it's just that-
|
| Holly Blue
|
How am I supposed to know what you're saying when you're mumbling.
|
| Guard 4
|
Uhh, I'm sorry, Holly Blue Agate. It's just-
|
| Guard 3
|
Blue Diamond is on her way!
|
| Holly Blue
|
Oh my stars! She's back already?! You two, best behavior. Shoulders squared! Minds cleared! Backs straight! And surely, Blue Diamond would want to thank you personally for this special delivery, your grand Clarity.
|
| Sapphire
|
Yes. I suppose she will.
|
| Holly Blue
|
Well, don't just stand there, you useless chunks of earth! Make yourself useful and escort that human to the assimilation bay!
|
| Sapphire
|
But the tour...
|
| Holly Blue
|
Oh, your Clarity. You flatter me, but we really must get ready. Our Diamond will be here at any moment.
|
| Steven
|
Let me go, you bigger Amethyst!
|
| Guard 3
|
Heh, these newer humans are so spunky. In you go.
|
| Steven begins the assimilation process on the conveyor belt. Four Gem fingers take a picture of Steven.
|
| Steven
|
What the, uhh.
|
| The fingers perform health checks, including dental hygiene, photon sensitivity in the pupils, temperature, and if there is nasal congestion. They take off Steven's clothes until the pants where Steven whacks the fingers away.
|
| Steven
|
Nope! I will do that myself. I'll just find my dad without pants.
|
| The fingers spray powder on Steven which causes him to cough. The next step is what Steven thought to be a crusher that crushes him. It instead clothes Steven in new attire.
|
| Steven
|
Ugh, loincloths.
|
| New earrings, then glass barriers.
|
| Steven
|
[Groans] Okay! What else, huh!? What else you got for me!? I'm on that Dad mission adrenaline rush and ready for whatever space junk you have next! Futuristic cattle prods! Human horseshoes! Whatever you got, come and get me!
|
| The room floods with water, and Steven is sent down through a tunnel into the containment area.
|
| Steven
|
[Coughs] Huh? What the... What is this place? And where's...
|
| Steven sees Greg with two humans.
|
| Steven
|
Dad!?
|
| END
|
