| Speaker
|
Dialogue
|
| [The episode opens with Steven standing outside Beach Citywalk Fries. Steven is talking to Peedee.]
|
| Steven
|
And your dad won't even let you alphabetize the condiments? That's rough. [they look over to the arcade, where Mr. Smiley is pulling out the Zoltron machine and he wipes it, while whistling]
|
| Steven
|
(Pupils turn to stars) Whoa, I wanna see what that is. [Walks over to the Funland Arcade]
|
| (Steven runs to the Arcade)
|
| Steven
|
Hi Mr. Smiley! Is that game new?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
*laughs* Ha ha! Not even close. I've had old Zoltron here in storage. You got a quarter? We can see if he still works. [Plugs the Zoltron machine in]
|
| Zoltron Robot
|
[Turns on and moves around] I am Zoltron. Robot fortune teller from the future. I know your future, because I am from there.
|
| Steven
|
[Excitedly] Whoa! [reaches for a quarter in his pocket as Mr. Smiley laughs]
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Go ahead! Ask him anything.
|
| Steven
|
I've just been dying to know! [Holds quarter up] Will I get that fancy Kazoo I've always wanted? [Puts quarter in]
|
| Zoltron Robot
|
Your lucky numbers today are.. 16, 47, and W. [Turns off]
|
| Steven
|
[Disappointed]...Can I have my quarter back?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
[Laughs] If I had a quarter every time somebody asked for their quarter back... Oh wait, I do! (Makes cymbal crashing motions) Ba dum bum ching!"
|
| Steven
|
(Confused)...What?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
It was a joke. Man, I must be rusty. Been a while since my comedy days.
|
| Steven
|
You used to be a comedian?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Yeah! But that was a long time ago.
|
| Steven
|
What were some of your jokes?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
(Looks to the side and quietly speaks) I'd rather not talk about it.
|
| Steven
|
Did you have any knock knock jokes?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
You wanna ask questions, ask Zoltron. [Steven takes out another quarter and inserts it.]
|
| Steven
|
Hey Zoltron. Why did Mr. Smiley quit comedy? [Zoltron machine whirs but doesn't say anything.]
|
| Steven
|
[Goes over to pat the robot on the side] You can do it, buddy. [Zoltron robot suddenly explodes and falls to pieces, shocking them both] Ah! I just gave it a little tap!
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
A little tap?? (Angrily) Do you know how expensive this machine was?!?
|
| Steven
|
It was an accident! I'll make it up to you! Please, I-I just don't want to be banned from any more of your businesses!
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
[Begins to laugh, but stops] Hmm. Hey, you do a pretty good robot voice, don't you?
|
| (Cuts to a little while later, where Steven is sitting in the booth where the Zoltron machine was and he laughs, excitedly with stars in his pupils. Steven moves around and touches the side when he hears Sadie and Lars walk by.)
|
| Lars
|
[Exasperated] Sadie, come on! It's like all you wanna do is work! Let's go watch a movie at your place or something! Nobody will even notice we're gone.
|
| Sadie
|
[Laughs] Somebody will notice. You know, when they need a donut or something.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
(Steven gets into character) Beep, Bop, Boop! I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future! Fetch me a quarter and I'll find your fortune!
|
| Sadie
|
[Curiously] What is that? (Walks to the Zoltron machine.)
|
| Lars
|
(Follows Sadie) Don't change the subject!
|
| Sadie
|
I'm not, this is just interesting. [Faces the machine, then inserts a quarter]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Ask me anything!
|
| Lars
|
Ugh, look at its face!
|
| Sadie
|
[Smiles] Alright Zoltron. Since you know everything. [gives Lars a sly look] Should we skip work?
|
| Lars
|
(Sarcastically but keeps a smile, looking up) Oh great. Sic the robot on me.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
You should go to work because [pauses]...because even though Lars won't admit it [Lars' expression turns to shock] he really likes to do a good job. Letting people depend on him fills his heart with warm feelings. Like love, and trust.
|
| Lars
|
[Blushes] No, it doesn't!
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
And even though Sadie (Sadie's expression turns to shock) loves to take charge-
|
| Sadie
|
(Embarrassed and blushes) No I don't..
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
She'll still be impressed with all your effort! [Steven smiles, leaving the two dumbstruck]
|
| Sadie
|
(Being uncomfortable, she puts her hand on her face) ...Is it weird that it knows our names?
|
| Lars
|
[Shocked] I..don't wanna talk about it. (Turns to her) You.. wanna go to work?
|
| Sadie
|
Yeah, let's. (They hurry off, still creeped out)
|
| (Onion arrives near the booth, a crowbar in his arms)
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
(Stops Onion) Halt! If you're not careful.. Zoltron sees prison bars in your future.
|
| [Onion thinks about it, and seems to understand and leave. Seconds later he returns with a ski mask on and heads into the Arcade with crowbar out of Steven's sight. Steven sighs in contentment]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron sees that both of you are right. (Turns to Kiki and Jenny) You do deserve your own rooms.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron predicts you won't need to worry about that stain. You can make anything look cool. (Buck tightens his stained jacket.)
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron knows that even if he seems stuck in his ways, deep down, your father really loves you. (Ronaldo hugs Mr. Fryman and Peedee.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
How's it going out here?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Great! I really feel like I'm making a positive change in people's lives.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Are they paying you for it?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Yes, sir!
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Then keep it up, Zoltron!
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Sure!
|
| [Wind whistling]
|
| [British accent] Hm, a fortune-telling machine.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
This should be good for a laugh.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
That's right. I am Zoltron! Beep, boop! Give me your questions and your money.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
(Inserts a quarter) Was it a mistake to come here?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron says, uh... of course not? Um... Funland is fun for all ages.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
(Inserts another quarter) Will talking to him make any difference? Any difference at all?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron isn't sure. Human emotions are really complicated for Zoltron.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
(Inserts another quarter) Tell me the truth. Do I really just drive everyone around me away?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Z-Zoltron says your lucky numbers for today are 47, 16, and "W". Come back later?
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
(Begins to insert another quarter but drops it; the quarter rolls away and falls between a gap in the boardwalk) [Gasps] My final quarter. [Sighs] Even coins don't want to be around me.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
[Sighs] Poor guy. I wish I knew what to tell him. If only I could see into the future like Garnet can.
|
| Garnet
|
I knew you'd say that.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Garnet! I-I need your help with --
|
| Garnet
|
The future.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Oh, yeah! I need some of that. Can I borrow your future vision? I want to help some random stranger I just met.
|
| Garnet
|
That seems like an appropriate use of my powers. [Smooches] There you go. That should last a little while. Try to be home in time for dinner.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Thanks, Garnet!
|
| Garnet
|
[walks towards Mr. Frowney] He's ready to answer your question. Use this. [gives him quarter and walks away]
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
(Walks back and inserts the quarter) What would he say if he saw me now?
|
| [Steven's future vision activates, the first option appearing to him in slot machine style]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
He'll say, "I'm happy to see you."
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
You're lying. Nobody's happy to see me.
|
| [Option 2 appears]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
He'll say, "It's been too long."
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
I'm too late? I should've come sooner!
|
| [Option 3 appears]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
I don't know, I'm just a boy in a costume!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
[Sighs] Of course. Everything in my life's a disappointment.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
[Buzzer] Zoltron sees... sadness in your future no matter what you do.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
That sounds about right. I guess the curtain really did close on Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
You're here to see Mr. Smiley?! [Gasps]
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Nobody misses our act, not even him. [Sighs] I don't know why I'm talking to a machine. I'll just get on the bus and leave. [Leaves]
|
| [A little while later, Steven is talking to Suitcase Sam]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron says that's a question for your doctor. [Suitcase Sam leaves, and Mr. Smiley comes back]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Uh, Mr. Smiley! Mr. Smiley!
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Hey, don't break character. You broke enough things today.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
I met Mr. Frowney.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
What?!
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
He's in town. Uh, how did you know him?
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
We used to have a... routine.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Oh! Comedy. But he didn't seem very funny. Actually, he was really depressing.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Yeah, that was the bit. At least, I thought it was, but even offstage, he was always sad. Nothing would cheer him up, not even a packed house, not a standing ovation, not even me. And, boy, did I try.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Well, he's about to leave town on a bus. You should go talk to him before it's too late.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
I don't know what'd happen if I did.
|
| (Steven's future vision activates again into three options. Option 1 is seen)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Wow! Funny running into you.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Of course. I'm still a punchline, aren't I?
|
| (Option 2 appears)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Hey! Wow! You look great!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
That's your best joke yet.
|
| (Option 3 appears)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Hi, buddy!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Is that all you have to say?
|
| [Buzzer]
|
| (Future vision ends.)
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron sees sadness in your future, no matter what you do.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Ugh. Come on, Steven. Drop the act.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Wait a second. (climbs out of the booth) You said you were always trying to make him happy. Did he even know that he was making you sad?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
You said he was getting on a bus?
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Yeah.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Harold?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Quentin.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
How'd you know I was here?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Little robot boy from the future told me.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Uh, hi, again.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
He came to life!
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
[Chuckles] No, fool.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Did you just come here to laugh at me?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
No... I'm here to tell you that.. I wanted it to work -- our act. But it wasn't making you happy.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
I just wanted you to take it seriously.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
And I just wanted you to have fun.
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Oh. I guess it was never going to work. But I really thought we had something.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
You having a bad day, Frowney?
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Horrible.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Well, why don't you go outside?! The sun always cheers me up!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
I did, but it rained.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Why don't you use an umbrella?
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
I did, but it blew away.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Ooh! You must have been shocked!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Yeah, that's when the lightning hit me.
|
| Steven
|
Ooohh!
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
Smiley, what do you do when you're feeling down?
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
I just take my frown and turn it around! [picks him up and holds him upside down]
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
[Chuckles]
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Hey, you're ruining the bit! I thought you were a professional.
|
| Steven
|
[Chuckles]
|
| Mr. Frowney
|
[Sighs] I think I finally got the joke. [They hug, and Mr. Frowney leaves on the bus. Mr. Smiley waves goodbye]
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Well, I guess my debt is repaid.
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
[Laughs] Steven, that machine costs thousands of dollars.
|
| Zoltron (Steven)
|
Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future.
|
| [Episode Ends]
|
