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This is a transcribed copy of Doug Out. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Lion 4: Alternate Ending" Next: "The Good Lars"
Speaker Dialogue
(Steven takes a bag of Fry Bits from Peedee Fryman.)
Steven Thanks for the bits, Peedee. *Him and Connie walk off* Oh, and tell Ronaldo I hope his weird rash clears up soon. *Steven and Connie sit on a bench and eat the Fry Bits* Life can get really intense, huh?
Connie Yeah, especially your life. Let's see, alien abduction.
Steven Going to a weird zoo for humans in space.
Connie And sneaking out past a pair of intergalactic tyrants!
(Steven and Connie laugh.)
Steven *Takes a Fry Bit from the bag and lifts it up to the sky* Well, it's nice to know that we can still have peaceful days like this without any trouble. *He throws it in attempt to catch it in his mouth but fails and laughs*
Connie Almost.
Doug Maheswaran *Yells through microphone* Hey, kid!
(Steven and Connie look over.)
Doug Drop those fry bits! drop em'!
Steven Oh no, it's the cops!
Connie Huh?
Steven All the years of ordering off menu have finally come back to taunt me!
Connie You meant haunt you? Steven that's not even a police car, it's just-
Steven I surrender! *He gets off the bench and runs towards Doug* I knew I was breaking the rules but, I did it anyway! The bits had their hooks in meee.
Connie *Runs over to Steven and laughs* Dad, quit joking around!
Doug Come on, Connie I almost had him! *He takes the microphone away from his mouth*
Steven Mr. Maheswaran!? *Sighs and falls to the ground*
Doug *Puts microphone back into his car and walks over to Steven* Wow, I didn't think he would take it that seriously. *Squats down* You okay there Steven?
Steven Oh, yeah, I love it down here.
Doug And how's my swashbuckling swashbuckler doing?
Connie I'm good.
Doug You know, Steven, maybe you're dehydrated. Probably from eating all that garbage before dinner.
Steven Respectfully, Fry Bits are not garbage.
Connie Don't worry, Steven, he's just messing with you.
Doug *Chuckles* Sorry Steven, Let's get you up.
(They all walk to the car)
Connie So what are you even doing in Beach City dad?
Doug *Takes a note from car* I'm out here on a job, actually. *Lifts paper up* The private security company I work for got a call from a Mr. Harold Smiley stating that someones been lurking around Funland after hours. So I'll be here all night. On, *Grabs side of glasses and the lenses shine* a stakeout.
Steven Woah, a stakeout!
Connie Dad, that's so cool!
Doug Yeah, it is pretty cool, huh? *blushes* Protecting the citizens of Beach City. Just like you guys!
Connie Wouldn't that be fun, Steven?
Steven Yeah! I'd love to go on a stakeout sometime.
Doug Maybe you guys, could help out tonight.
Steven and Connie What?!
Connie Even though we're not officially sanctioned security personnel?
Doug Hey, why not. It's probably just some kit loitering. Hey, kid!
(Onion looks over and puts his arm up.)
Doug Yes, hello! The sign above you says no loitering!
Onion *Shrugs and walks off*
Doug They get younger every year. So, ya'll ready for this? Some of these teens can use some pretty strong language.
Connie Hey Steven, you wanna help ruin some teen's night?
Steven Always.
(They drive up to Funland)
Steven *Whispering* Coast is all clear behind us.
Connie Things seem pretty quiet so far.
Doug Well yeah, nobody's gonna even try hopping the fence with us here. But you never know, sometimes, I actually leave the car.
Steven and Connie Wow.
Doug I'm sure you guys do lots of waiting when you're saving the world. It can't be all bam, pow action all the time.
Steven Aw, I wish. There's a lot of fighting, I mean, I kind of inherited a intergalactic war.
Connie *Reaches arm into box* Hey dad, what's this box?
Doug Oh, I just confiscated that from a kid who was shoplifting in a costume shop.
Steven Woah! *Takes a mustache out and holds to mouth* You could totally use these for disguises! Don't you ever need to go.. Undercover?
Doug How do you know I'm not undercover *Lifts glasses up* Right now?
(Steven and Connie look surprised)
Doug Just kidding *Chuckles* I need these to see. But if you guys want to play with that stuff go ahead.
Connie Okay, well I want to be undercover. I'll be.. Veronica Cucamonga.
Steven *Puts green hat on* *Italian accent* It's a-me, Peter Pizzapoppolis, from Italia!
Connie Pizzapoppolis? That sounds Greek. You sure you don't want anything dad? There's a clown nose back here. *Squeaks the clown nose*
Doug No thanks, being a security guard is no joke. Which is why, they equip us with these. *Pulls flashlight out*
Connie Wow, a flashlight!
Doug Yeah. It gets pretty dark out there.
(Loud crash)
Doug What was that?
(The three of them walk up to the smashed-in part of the fence)
Steven Mama mia the fence-a!
Doug How on earth did this happen? *Him and the others walk closer* If this were some punk with a pair of bolt cutters this would have been a clean cut. *Leans down and grabs a piece from the fence* But this chain looks like it was torn apart. This was no kid.
Connie Well, if it wasn't a misguided teen, what could it be?
Doug It's up to us to find out! Sounds like we better investigate. Cucamonga, Pizzapoppolis.
Connie Right!
Steven Right-a!
(They all start walking in before Connie leans down to pick up a ripped piece of leather from the fence)
Connie Huh? *She stands up and puts it in her pocket*
Doug Hello? This is security! You are trespassing on private property. Do not attempt to make yourself a corn dog. Funland incorporated is not liable for the harm you may incur on trying to operate a deep fryer without a license.
Steven You need a license to operate a deep fryer?
(Loud crash)
Connie Woah.
(A big shadow appears)
Doug Hey, stop right there!
(They all run towards the shadow)
Doug Follow my lead.
(They somersault across the ground one by one)
Doug *Shines flashlight* Don't move!
Connie Did we lose them?
Steven Which a-way did they go so fast-a?
Doug Mouths closed, eyes and ears open.
(They all put their hands to their ears)
(Hyper Space door creaks)
Doug Bad move chump, that space ship's permanently earthbound. *They run into the ride* Gotcha! I mean freeze! Oh, man. *Shines light at control panel* Are we dealing with some sort of escape artist?
Connie Hey Steven, maybe we should get our weapons.
Doug That won't be neccessary. We're not here to escalate the situation. Besides, a good security guard only needs their trusty flashlight.
(Door creaks and slams)
Doug Hey! *pulls on handle* Open up this instant!
Connie Yeah let us out! *Her and Steven attempt to open the door*
(The lights turn on and the ride starts moving)
Steven and Connie The ride's moving!
Connie We gotta shut it off!
Doug Don't worry! I'll just use my trusty flashlight. *Throws it towards the Off button but it misses*
Steven Oh no!
Connie The laws of physics!
Doug *Flashlight hits face* Ouch!
Connie You okay, dad?
Doug Yeah, I've got a new idea, though. This time, I'll throw it at a angle!
Connie Dad, I don't think that'll work.
Doug Go! *Throws flashlight and it hits all three of their heads multiple times*
(All of them scream)
Steven We got to get out of this spicy meat-a-ball! *Grunts while trying to push himself off the wall and lands on the middle of the ride* Hey, this part isn't moving at all!
Connie Steven!
Doug *Gets hit with flashlight* Augh!
Steven Sorry! *Pushes Off button*
(The ride stops and they all climb out of the ride groaning)
Doug Listen, you bodybuilding escape artist criminal. This isn't a game. You've endangered a officer of the law and two small children. Show yourself before you get into serious trouble!
Connie Steven, do you think it's some sort of Gem Mutant or Monster?
Steven It could be, but, it trapped us. The monsters and mutants aren't that smart.
Connie Could, we be dealing with a Homeworld Gem?
Doug Homeworld? Gem? Mutant? I, uh - well, whatever it is *Takes batteries out of flashlight* if someone's trespassing *Takes new batteries out of pocket and puts them into the flashlight then turning it on* they'll have to answer to me.
Connie It's so.. Quiet.
(The streetlights turn on and music starts playing, making them all gasp)
Doug I can't believe this. They're mocking us. Show yourself! What is it that you want here?! Prizes? Fun? You think this is the place to get your kicks? You sick monster. Destroying the sanctity of this land of fun!
(A small shadow appears above a small minigame)
Connie Behind you!
(The fence falls onto Doug)
Connie Dad!
Steven Mr. Maheswaren!
Doug Ugh, don't worry, I'm fine. Just-
(Shadow runs past them)
Doug *Gasp* There they are!
(Steven and Connie gasp)
Connie Come on Steven! *They get up and follow the shadow*
Doug I'm right behind you!
Connie You're not getting away this time!
(The shadow knocks over a trash can and a gumball machine)
Connie That's a lot of gumballs!
Steven Jump!
(Connie jumps and Steven grabs her hands, then floats over the gumballs, then run to a dead end)
Connie It's time to give up!
Steven There's no way out!
Doug Gumballs? Aaah! *Falls* *Groans and walks over* Hey, kids.
Connie The culprits at the end of this corner, dad.
Doug Good work you two. Now, let's shed some light on this subject *Turns flashlight on and shines it onto Onion*
Steven Wait. Onion!
(Onion looks towards them squinting)
Doug You? What are you doing here? We're in the middle of a very important investigation.
Connie Dad, I think this is who's been causing all this trouble.
Steven Onion, It's me, Steven. *Takes mustache and hat off* Steven Universe.
Onion *Murmurs frantically and hides behind Steven*
Steven That's just Mr. Maheswaren. Oh my gosh did you think a bunch of strangers were chasing you? No wonder you were trying to throw us off your trail. Onion, everything's okay.
(Onion smiles and steps back)
Doug *Walks up to them* It can't just be a kid. It doesn't make any since! What about that huge shadow?
(Connie turns the flashlight on and shines it on Onion, a big shadow appearing behind him)
Connie I think the flashlight just made him look big.
Doug But the fence was ripped apart!
Steven I have seen him use a blowtorch before.
Connie *Walks up to them* I also found this piece of fabric stuck in the fence.
(They look over at Onion, Onion shows his foot to reveal a tear in the heel)
Doug *Groans* Of course. It's never actually something.
Connie What's wrong?
Doug Nothing's wrong, it's just my job isn't the exhilarating adventures you've been having with Steven. Or the life-threatening emergencies your mom deals with at the hospital. The most action I see is telling kids to quit loitering around. I was hoping maybe you'd get to see me take on a serious job. But I guess all i'm good at is being your silly, old dad. *Trips on a gumball and falls, grunting*
Connie You're right, you are silly. But that's why I like hanging out with you. I've got enough serious things going on in my life. Sometimes I just wanna spend time with my dad.
Doug *They both smile* Thanks. *Chuckles* You're a keeper Veronica Cucamonga.
Connie *Laughs*
Doug Well, kid. This may have been a big misunderstanding. But you're still in trouble for this fence.
Onion *Looks and shakes his head*
Doug Oh, yes you are.
Steven Just let him off the hook on this one. We already scared him straight.
Connie The law must be different for someone his age.
Doug *Sigh* You learned your lesson?
Onion *Nods*
Doug Then you're free to go.
(Car door opens and closes and the engine starts)
Doug And rememember kid, no loitering. *Backs the car up* I don't know how I'm gonna explain this back at the office.
(Onion walks forward, a stomp is heard and a large shadow appears behind him, and a smaller shadow with wings flies up next to the other one)
(The episode ends)


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus
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