Bill Dewey/Quotes

Season 1

“	Hey, hey, hey! I'm not paying for father-son bonding here!	”
—Cat Fingers

“	I like the way you do business, Universe.	”
—Cat Fingers

“	... Another reason you should re-elect me, I love babies. Will you look at that, a baby! Gonna kiss it...	”
—"Lars and the Cool Kids"

“	I'm the mayor, I'm not going to walk anywhere. Now, go get run over somewhere else. I'm late for a speech.	”
—"Mirror Gem"

“	As mayor, I DEMAND you explain this immediate-!	”
—"Ocean Gem"

“	Oh yeah, I've got all the latest, state of the art screen-printing equipment from years of campaigning. And other some such, mayorly things. Like this week, I'm commemorating: a bench!	”
—"Shirt Club"

“	What have you got there? Aww... I haven't seen this in years. Remember when you drew this, Buck? You couldn't wait to show it to all your li'l Montessori friends.	”
—"Shirt Club"

“	Your caretakers! You know... the tall one, the purple one, the hot one.	”
—"Political Power"

“	No, no, no! It has to come back! The people of Beach City can't handle a situation like this, they need their electronic distractions so they won't know that this town is a magnet for disaster!	”
—"Political Power"

“	Look Steven, it's not lying when you're the mayor, it's politics.	”
—"Political Power"

“	Let me tell you something, when you work for the government you can't control what happens in the world but you can control how people feel about. That's the real weight I carry, making the good people of Beach City feel better, safer, more secure.	”
—"Political Power"

“	Exactly, that's why you've got to give the people something to believe in. When they see my giant head on this car rolling down the boardwalk they think: "Here comes help!". Well, some people think: "Here comes that exterminator guy." But then they realize it's me - their mayor! Have you seen that exterminator truck with a head on it? He's totally copying me.	”
—"Political Power"

“	Universe, what's this thing in the sky? As a politician, pointing fingers make me very nervous.	”
—"The Return"

Season 2

“	Why, young man, I credit the voters with saving Beach City! My constituents know they've elected a mayor they can trust to—	”
—"Rising Tides, Crashing Skies"

“	Cover up? WHAT COVER UP?!	”
—"Rising Tides, Crashing Skies"

“	The great William Dewey didn't struggle! He was good at everything on the first try! Just like me when I wrote this play! Not a single word needs to be changed!	”
—"Historical Friction"

“	What!? This wasn't in the script! This wasn't in the budget either!	”
—"Historical Friction"

“	Jamie! Oh, yeah! Fantastic work! I love the message: Vote Mayor Dewey! How about I offer you another role? Lead Director of Beach City Community Theater. You could put on more plays, as long as the budget allows it!	”
—"Historical Friction"

Season 5

“	My gosh. I've never had an opponent before. Even when I ran for mayor of high school, I ran unopposed. Probably because... I made up the position.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	12 people?! That's half the town! I'm finished, Universe. I don't know of many political figures that have made a comeback after getting a tomato to the face.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	But Steven, some of the things people have been saying about me are really painful and mean.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	Aww, shucks, Universe. You're like the son I never had. Steven: You... have a son. I know that. You're... just very different from him, is all.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	People of Beach City. You might think that being a mayor is a fine and glamorous sort of thing. I can understand why my opponent would want the position. But I've been mayor of this city for a decade, and I know some things that Ms. Nanefua does not. You see, when you're the mayor, you get blamed for everything. When the boardwalk has termites, it's the mayor's fault. When aliens steal people, it's the mayor's fault. When the mayor crashes the mayor mobile into the only cell tower in town, it's the mayor's fault. Most people can't handle that kind of pressure, but I can! So, I say to you, Beach City citizens, just enjoy our wonderful ocean breeze and don't worry about a thing. Just let Dewey "do it" for you!	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	Uhh... Did you ever notice how people from Ocean... Town- Oh, who am I kidding? Beach City deserves a real mayor. Someone wise and collected like Ms. Nanefua.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	I withdraw from the race.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	Come on, Universe. You know she's gonna be a better mayor than me. It was the right thing to do.	”
—"Dewey Wins"

“	Still not open huh? I guess me and the Big Donut have a lot in common, we're both empty inside.	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	You know Universe, seeing my old Mayor Mobile turned into a giant potato, made me realize that nothing is like it used to be. My old life, my old town, my old citizens, they've all changed. They've... all outgrown me, I suppose.	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	You know what I miss the most about being the mayor? The little things, getting dressed and ready for work, walking down the boardwalk seeing everyone's smiling faces Yes! Knowing I had a place in this town. I used to look forward to it every day. Just like the people of this town used to look forward to their morning donut. I guess these days no one gets what they want.	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	One Classic Dewey, coming up! And how about a freshly fried Dewey Roll, on the house! Barbara: Take it easy, Billy. you're gonna go out of business! Ha ha! You're cute.	”
—"Letters to Lars"