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Bill Dewey/Quotes

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Season 1

Hey, hey, hey! I'm not paying for father-son bonding here!

Cat Fingers

I like the way you do business, Universe.

—Cat Fingers

Oh yeah, I've got all the latest, state of the art screen-printing equipment from years of campaigning. And other some such, mayorly things. Like this week, I'm commemorating: a bench!

—"Shirt Club"

What have you got there? Aww... I haven't seen this in years. Remember when you drew this, Buck? You couldn't wait to show it to all your li'l Montessori friends.

—"Shirt Club"

Your caretakers! You know....the tall one, the purple one, the hot one.

—"Political Power"

No, no, no! It has to come back! The people of Beach City can't handle a situation like this, they need their electronic distractions so they won't know that this town is a magnet for disaster!

—"Political Power"

Exactly, that's why you've got to give the people something to believe in. When they see my giant head on this car rolling down the boardwalk they think: "Here comes help!". Well, some people think: "Here comes that exterminator guy." But then they realize its me - their mayor! Have you seen that exterminator truck with a head on it? He's totally copying me.

—"Political Power"

Universe, what's this thing in the sky? As a politician, pointing fingers make me very nervous.

—"The Return"

Season 2

The great William Dewey didn't struggle! He was good at everything on the first try! Just like me when I wrote this play! Not a single word needs to be changed!

—"Historical Friction"

What!? This wasn't in the script! This wasn't in the budget either!

—"Historical Friction"

Jamie! Oh, yeah! Fantastic work! I love the message: Vote Mayor Dewey! How about I offer you another role? Lead Director of Beach City Community Theater. You could put on more plays, as long as the budget allows it!

—"Historical Friction"